Too Old for Games

I'm too old for games, and yeah I know I'm not that old. I've realized, however, in the last year and especially since my relationship with handshake that I simply don't have time for people's shit. Not in the sense that I don't care, but...just tell it to me like it is. Don't beat around the bush, just say what you mean and we will go from there.

That's the approach I've taken with Craftymama and it feels good to be honest. It's the approach I've taken with friendships, and work relationships, and nearly all my interactions with people. You don't have to be mean, but you can still be honest.

This has been incredibly evident in my..I don't know..kinda sorta relationship with SS. From the get go I told him I was blunt and honest and I wasn't afraid to say what I thought. He told me he was very much the same way, and although very stubborn, he appreciated someone who could actually communicate and disagree with him in an intelligent yet respectful manner. The first time we actually sat down in person we talked about everything: politics, spirituality, sex, past relationships, personal challenges - all the things on the usual "do not discuss" list. It was an amazing chat, and it established a dynamic right at the onset where no topic is off limits for challenge or discussion.

It's an interesting situation, especially now with him being away, to have the same type of dialogue going. I am concerned I will lose some of this nerve in person, because most of our interactions are via text. Though I know, from experience, that this is not the case when I'm in his presence. It's still worrying. 6 weeks is a long time for a new whatever we are. And I am not good at long distance.

I quite like him. Sometimes I worry I am not ready for a relationship, or that my life is too fucked up and I shouldn't bring someone else in. But, at least so far, he is making me happy. We mesh in a lot of healthy and positive ways. Though his insatiable optimism makes me want to smack him sometimes.

With him there has been no games. I have been forthright with everything, as has he. It feels authentic. Now...I jut wish he would come back.