Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Family is Family

My family is growing up, we are changing, we are growing - together. We are creating wonderful family memories, and I am just in love with them all. 

the three of us.

All my boys trying to sword fight - even at the beach! 

The kids enjoying their ice cream cones at the waterfront. 

LittleR took this picture of herself. 

The boy loves to be naked!
Unschooling, the theories and practices, are leaching over into other areas of our parenting and it's been wonderful. The kids no longer have 'bedtimes' per se, instead they have a time in which they have quiet time in their rooms. They are welcome to read books, play lego quietly or talk to their sibling. We did this for a couple of reasons. First, it's their bodies and their sleep schedules and they do need to learn some autonomy. Second, there is nothing anymore that says they need to be up at a specific time so if they want to sleep in they can. Third, everyone's sleep schedules are different. Some people need more, some less, some sleep better in early evening, some are night owls - who are we to impose these on the kids, why shouldn't they be able to figure it out on their own. If, when they are older, they get involved in something that requires them to be up at a certain time then that is when they will learn to do that. Part of unschooling is learning how to do things when you need them or when you are interested in them. I would rather my kids know their own sleep needs then for me to arbitrarily tell them they need to go to bed at a certain time because I say so.

They have been swimming oh so many times this year and their abilities in the water have progressed so much. They have gone to water parks, play grounds, beaches. We have taken them on day trips up island, evening visits to another town because we are able to stay up later for these things. We have had picnics and done so many things. Memories are being created.

The three of us are also doing well. We are communicating better and I am getting used to involving glassman in my mental illness so that a) craftymama doesn't have the whole burden and b) we cna begin to build a relationship on trust. We all share a room now, though that has been the case for a couple of months. Glassman still has a room downstairs with his shit in it that is really just taking up space that we could use for something else. We need to fix that. We are happy :)

Monday, August 17, 2015


I started therapy last week. I also had my first reiki session. I am trying to make big personal changes; "take chances, make mistakes....get messy" as The Magic School Bus always told me.

It took a good 4 or more years to get my bipolar under controls, to get the actual hormones and chemicals in my brain to work closer to how they are supposed to. Now I am trying to get my Borderline Personality Disorder things under some sort of management, and to do that I need to face some of my root issues, some of the mistakes that I've made, and some of the mistakes of other people that I have been a victim of.

Therapy will help with the more...surface issue. I am hoping to learn mindfulness. I am hoping to learn some tools to help when things get overwhelming, as they frequently do, or when my gut tells me to do something that I really know I shouldn't be doing.

Then there is my spiritual healing. I firmly believe we all need to take care of our spiritual health, it is vital to happiness and to success. What better way to start taking care of myself spiritually than by having my energy cleansed and refocused through Reiki. Now, do I believe it is the be all end all of therapies? No, I don't think anything is. I merely think it is a tool in a journey.

I am also hoping to do a short mindful self compassion course in October, as well as my Vipassana Meditation in November. I am also really hoping and trying to make the right connections to attempt an ayahuasca ceremony as I have believed for years that doing so would strengthen my core and allow me to grow. I am also attempting to meditate at least 20 minutes per day - though that is proving difficult, and my therapist won't be happy I haven't been doing it because it was part of my homework.

I am also trying to remove negative people from my life, and not let people treat me poorly just because historically that's what I have taken from them. It's a challenge, and it is sad. But it must be done.

On a semi related note, I went and saw the movie Inside Out with BigR and K as well as NanaJ and my niece who was in town. K and my niece had so much fun together, and I know my nephews and my boys would get along together so well, what with their love of soccer and lego - that I have invited them all over to my house for a weekend to hang out. I think it'd be fun and my house is big enough to house them all. I haven't heard back from SisterE yet, but I am hopeful she will let our children be close even if we can't be.

Speaking of Inside Out though, it was a great movie for showing kids how emotions work and how every emotion is valuable and important. There were so many feelings during that movie, and they expressed the emotions so well. It was just such a great movie - I really enjoyed it, even though it is supposed to be for kids.

Monday, August 10, 2015

Then and Now

About 5 years ago

How the hell did this happen? They are all so big! There is another one of them! Same swings, same kids, same park - completely different life now. It went by too quickly, it always does. In 5 more years, I will look back on today's picture and be amazed at how little they are now. It's all perspective. All the days are painfully the same and yet little by little they grow up and become the amazing people they are becoming. I am so proud of each and every one of them for forging their own path and being their own individuals. They are strong children. 

Tuesday, August 4, 2015


So we are almost, almost, done signing the kids up for some activities this coming fall.

BigR will be doing Boy Scouts. We did originally have him signed up for this while living in Cobble Hill but that troop or group or whatever it's called folded and we didn't find a new one. He is excited to earn badges and really enjoyed going for the short time he went. He is also really into playing guitar, as he was front row at the Keith Urban show at Sunfest this year. Glassman and I will have to break out ours and maybe show him a thing or two - if I can even remember.

K will be doing Girl Guides. We wanted to sign her up for a St Johns Ambulance Cadets Group - so she would learn first aid, and all the medical stuff she has really been interested in but after trying to make contact with them for several months we have given up. Guides will be a good opportunity for her to talk to people, which she loves doing.

M will be going into Soccer. Honestly, I do not look forward to this. Being a soccer parent, I hear, is cold and wet and it's a very long season. But he really wants to do it, so who are we to say now based on superficial kind of pathetic reasons. He is a natural runner for his age because he is so tall and has always loved watched soccer so this will be a good fit for him I think. He is also excited about cleats - he really wants cleats.

LittleR..there is the tricky one. She did the equestrian camp and I would love to put her into that but its out of our price range. She is also doing rock climbing right now (both gifts from grandparents for her birthday) and she seems really good at that - she has always loved to climb. K has influenced her into wanting to take dance but anyone call tell she doesn't actually want to do that. I don't know what to put her in, like at all. We could stick with rock climbing, but it is a bit on the expensive side as well. Ugh, I just don't know - but registration dates for things are closing in on us fast.

As for J..well his interests consists of nursing, cars, trucks, chasing kitties, grandpa, being wrapped on my back and the water. He will continue to do those - unscripted. He is also becoming quite the swimmer - kind of. He is walking on his hands while kicking his feet in the water and when it gets too deep he like flails his arms around, without being scared, to keep his head above water. I am hopeful he will be our kid that won't go through a being terrified of the water phase.

As for activities for the adults...well, glassman continues to work on his novel, or a new one as he finished his first and is letting it sit for awhile before proofing it. He is also working on some short stories. Craftymama is working hard on her center for education - networking, planning meetings, advertising etc. It's really coming along and she is putting a lot of energy into it. I'm proud of the both of them for following their dreams. And me? Well, I'm still plugging along trying to figure things out for myself as a person and what not. So, I don't really do activities, I kind of just exist at the moment.