My new job is going great! I'm loving what I do. So far I haven't been able to actually do very much but I have watched pacemakers be removed, the preparation of bodies for viewing, I've done transfers from the hospital, listened in on arrangements and pre arrangements and done a lot of reading on regulations and laws and all things that govern death. It feels valuable, and it feels amazing to be part of it. I work with good people too. All of them, save for one, are quite a bit older than me - I had to show one person how to open a jpeg file. But we get along well and there have been many laughs. The manager of the homes is a guy my age and he is proving fun to work with as well. We get along, and we have a lot in common. We clicked right away and I am finding mysef quite comfortable with him. I think we will be great friends.
I had a bit of a falling out with my mother, surprise surprise. I had messaged her asking if she had plans for aspecific day as me and the family were going to come down to Coombs and Qualicum to see her and go to the beach and hit up the market. She immediately chastised me for not ever phoning her, though she never calls me either. Stuff was said and I was hurt so I stopped responding as I don't have to attend every argument I am invited to. Fast forward like 2 weeks and I get a text out of nowhere saying she wants to see me and the girls and she won't take any conditions or beg. I told her she didn't have to beg but she couldn't exclude my family. It's been nearly 7 years, they boys, Craftymama, they are my family whether she wants to accept it or not. I tod her she had no right to say the things she has said to me as she does not know me at all anymore. I told her I would always love her and want a relationship with her but I would not do it while she treated me and my family like she has been. I am sad. I love my mother, and we were once very close - inseparable. But clearly her accepting my family has been an act, and she doesn't really think of the boys as her grandkids. She has shown she does not wish to know me or my life unless it is on her terms only. When we can meet in the middle - then we will be able to have a true meaningful relationship.
Things have never been better and never been worse in terms of the open relationship aspect of my life. I have gone on a total of 3 dates - the most recent guy ended up being a douche and told me that my kids were too much baggage. I actually get that a lof from men. Oh well. I'm not doing too well at the online dating thing, and it's actually getting to me. I want to meet someone who I click with and go on more than one date with. Craftymama on the other hand has met a woman who she clicked with immediately. They have been out several times and she has said there is the real potential for serious feelings. This was hard for me at first as I thought we had said no serious relationships, but you can't really control how feelings develope. I either feel completely fine with being open and like mine and craftymam's relationship can handle anything or I feel the complete opposite and like I can't get a grip on my emotions at all. They get very overwhelming sometimes - yes I have done the ugly screaming crying by myself in the van. Speaking truthfully, I don't think I could handle craftymama having more than one relationship, so we are holding things here for now. I need some time to adjust and get a grip on myself. Craftymama says she is learning a lot about herself and what makes her happy through this process. I am learning a lot about myself as well, but not through dating other people (as that has not worked for me sigh) but through having to work through my extreme emotions and come out a rational human being - I am not always successful. Craftymama has been amazingly supportive and wants to help me where she can which is wonderful. I hope I meet someone one day, because right now I kind of feel lonely and like she gets to have all the fun while I do all the personal work.
I realized through this process that what I was really after or wanted from being non-monogamous was polyfidelity. I wanted a committed closed relationship between multiple people, but I think I would still be okay with having just fun hookup options on the side. This having my wife in a potentially serious relationship with someone else was not what I wanted, but it is not necessarily a bad thing, I just have to get to a different mindset, which is what I am working on.
The kids are good. BigR has been having issues at Maple Hill and its proving to not be the right fit for him at this time so we are finding some childcare for him for the rest of this second short term program that is being run. K wants to join Scouts next year as they go on more camping trips than brownies does. M has started a cooking class and it is totally up his alley and he is loving it! He has always said his favourite thing is eating - ha ha.