Friday, May 31, 2013

Drive By


  • Craftymama is feeling Ziggy move all the time now, not just flops but actual kicks. I can't wait until it kicks me in the head. 
  • We have our ultrasound this month to make sure all is going well, we still haven't determined if we are going to find out gender - but if we are, we need to get another ultrasound as this one is too early for them to tell us. 
  • BigR may have the pox - so he isn't in school today, much to his chagrin. 
  • I have started my Christmas knitting as I don't think I'll get much time to do it once Ziggy is here and I am in school. 
  • My school start in 24 days - well, that's when orientation is, actual schooling doesn't start until July 3rd. 
  • K is determined that she *will* have earrings for her birthday, this is all thanks to Craftymama's mama who sparked the idea in her pretty little red head - she now will not drop the topic. 
  • My birthday was last week and it was probably my favourite one of them all - surrounded by love and family. I felt special but not focused on - it was wonderful. 
  • My car is making weird sounds, the bathroom sink is broken, and the kitchen sink is leaking - I loathe being an adult sometimes. 
  • LittleR's birthday is coming up (June 24th) and I still have no idea what to do for her. BigR's birthday is first (June 10th) but I know what we are doing for him. 
  • With the table done and the playroom waiting for some aesthetic pieces, craftymama has turned her attention towards the living room (paint), the upstairs floor (paint) and the laundry room (I have no idea of her plans, they change depending on what she finds on pinterest).
  • M is still going to a speech group and is doing really well, right now they are working on his S's, as in "snack" instead of "nack." He is actually speaking up in the group now and interacting with them, it's great to hear about his progress. 

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Farmhouse Table

So this past weekend was a busy one. On Saturday, the main table making day, I took all the kids out for the day so Craftymama and Glassman could have some free time without the kids around making more chaos.

We left at 9:30a, after I had already gone grocery shopping, picked up Cableman and off we went. Our first stop was Oliver Woods. This is a natural wood themed playground in the middle of a forest like setting. It's an awesome playground. We had a snack, played, and found a geocache hidden way up high in a tree.

Next stop was Target, a new store that had just opened up. BigR got his first pair of lace up shoes, which still cause him much grief and anxiety though he insisted he wanted them and can, in fact, tie bows, and we also got some cute little things for Ziggy that the kids helped pick out.

Then it was coffee time for me :)

Then we were off for the highlight of the trip. It was a long drive out to Qualicum where we went to the beach and met my mom NanaJ. We found grabs, dug our toes in the sand and water, and found some shells to bring to my work to make soap in. Then it started to rain and we got quite wet. LittleR actually loved the rain and was dancing around in it - she went thigh deep into the ocean; soaking her self.

We went back to my mom's house and had hot dogs and hot chocolate - much to the kids' delight. Then we drove Cableman back home, and headed home ourselves. All in all being gone for seven hours.

When we got home, the table was built. That night the first and second coats of stain were applied, and the next day the bench was built. That was this past Sunday. Today the stain has dried, the poly has dried and we can have our first family dinner at this beautifully built farmhouse table.

Beautiful table and bench

This table is 8 feet long and will be able to seat 10!

Pretty stain

A bench to seat four children - as they were all fighting over who would get to sit on it. 

This is the table our kids will remember as they grow old. This is the table we will have our big Christmas dinners at. This table has been built to last, and last it will. It is my hope that after all the kids move out and start having kids of their own, that they will all come back home and we will continue to be a family at this table - but that's not happening for years to come. For now, we seat 6 at this table nightly.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Night time traditions

When I was little my mom used to tuck me in and sing me "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be." I still remember that, and it was a wonderful night time tradition. Sometimes I would even be allowed a bed time snack in bed - very special times for me.

Sleep is so important for me. When my kids were babies, I used to snuggle them close in their sleep. It was a great bonding time. I don't like any child to go to bed unhappy, as at night is when your body processes all that has gone on during the day, and if you end the day on a bad note I can only imagine what that does to your whole view of the remainder of the day. It's why I strive to always be loving, kind, and to create memories with my kids at night. Granted, I try to be kind and loving at all points of the day, but it's especially important to me to make sure they go to sleep knowing I love them.

BigR has recently been staying up later due to his age, and the fact that he and M share a room and M needs to go to sleep first. We spend that time together reading stories, or playing a quiet game of hockey (the net is the empty fireplace, the sticks are car tracks, and the puck is a felted ball). He always gives me a hug, and I give him a kiss on the head when he goes upstairs. It's becoming such a special time for the two of us, but I know he goes to bed knowing I love him.

K goes to bed when all the other kids do. I always tuck her in with her new to her fuzzy blanket, tuck her baby in with a smaller blanket, and turn on her star turtle (it shines constellations on the ceiling). The colour is always blue. Then I give her a hug and a kiss and tell her I love her. After putting LittleR to bed I always go back into K's room and give her another hug and kiss. I know she goes to bed knowing I love her.

M is always difficult to put to bed. He is always so full of energy, and has tons of games he just has to play right this instance. Craftymama puts M to bed, but after I am done with the girls, I always go into M's room and give him a giant squeeze hug and spin. I lift him right off the bed, that giant 50lb boy, and squeeze him tightly while he smiles the biggest smile. Then I kiss him on the head and tuck him in with his beloved blankie. I know he goes to sleep knowing I love him.

LittleR is also a challenge to put to bed sometimes. When I am home she is always hyperactive. I take her upstairs, and she jumps off her bed frame onto her bed, and I ask her how many times she wants to spin. Inevitably, she gives me a huge number but we generally compromise on around 6 or 7. She jumps off her bed into my waiting arms and we spin around. Then I tuck her in, give her a hug and kiss and say "I love you, I'll see you in the morning" and she always replies the same. On those good nights I know she goes to sleep knowing I love her. On bad night however, she is screaming, and won't stay in her bed. Typical for her age I guess. I always leave telling her I love her, and when she is asleep, finally, I go back in, tuck her in, and whisper again that I love her in her ear. I hope she can hear me and it creates a restful sleep.

I love these little traditions with my kids, I hope they love and remember them too.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Something smelled fishy

I really should have taken pictures of this. But it's a memory I think will stay with the kids forever, and one that will stay with me.

I took all the kids, solo, to the lake this weekend to play. There is a big grassy hill, playground, sand, and the lake - the kids couldn't go swimming but they did dip their feet in. Sand was dug in, a soccer ball was chased, and we watched several boats depart to go fishing. We even talked to a fisherman who showed the kids all the different parts of a fishing rod, and the tools he uses for the fish. The kids were enthralled.

So while I was sitting on the grass they went over to the dock where some more people were actually catching fish, and with childhood interest asked to see a fish. Two minutes later they were running over to me, bag in hand. What was in the bag? A fish. Not one to show me, or to look at -but one to keep!

Que my shock - what was I to do with a dead fish? They were very excited by said fish and immediately started asking questions. Dead or alive? How did it die? What is that red stuff? Can we touch the eyes? Can I hold it? What will we do with it? Can we eat it?

So after discussing this fish with several people as to what I should do with it I was told the easiest way to prepare it was to gut it and then pan fry it. All right then - fish for snack.

So I wrap the thing up in a bag and bring it home (with a stop for ice cream on the way - it was a good day for the kids). I first tried a butchers knife, but quickly realized in order to split a fish and cut off its head/tail you need a serated knife - or at least I did. So I did that, gutted it, pulled out as many bones as I could, and threw it in the hot pan.

Let's just say fish cooks fast, and it was falling apart, I ended up making not fillets like I intended to, but more scrambled fish. I set little bowls of fish in front of the kids expecting them to be disgusted by this thing they just saw as an animal now presented towards them as a meal. But nope, they devoured it, and want more!

Perhaps I should take them fishing one day.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Typical

This post is a hard one to write.

Its about baby5, who we have nicknamed Ziggy.

Ziggy has caused a lot of drama in my family. To say virtually no one is happy about it is pretty accurate. People are shocked, sad, offended, angry and a whole host of other things that surprise me.

I had told sisterN about our pregnancy first. Mainly because I knew she would be supportive, and I knew that she wouldn't tell other family members until I was ready to talk about it. I was timid to tell them, and I, especially, wanted to tell my mother in person. It just seemed more respectful and all around better to tell her in person. I knew she wouldn't be over the moon excited for us, but she still deserved hearing it from me, and from my face.

Well, what happened was SisterE confronted sisterN with her belief that Craftymama was pregnant. No idea how SisterE found out mind you. SisterN came to me and asked if I had told, and what she should say. I immediately texted SisterE. I couldn't believe she would go to my other sister rather than coming to me directly. So they then began fighting and have no talked since.

Fearing SisterE would tell my mom, I called her from work to tell her the news. We talked like she had never heard the news, and she presented her discontent and sadness at the whole situation; along with some other important issues between us. Turns out, SisterE had told my mother, and my mother had lied to me. She later told me she lief because "it's not like you have never lied to me." SisterE, meanwhile, told me she wasn't in a position to talk to me for the time being; so we aren't speaking anymore. However, my mom and I are still talking and are working on our relationship going forward.

The drama here seems so timid, but it is quite large and quite typical for my family. It seems one or more of us are always at odds with each other. It is getting quite tiring.

It also seems silly that my sisters aren't talking, and SisterE is not speaking to me over a new addition to the family. I get that they are shocked, and they may not agree with our decision to have another baby - but that doesn't mean that people need to stop speaking to each other. I am hoping that, when the baby is born, they will see this as an addition to our family, and consider it one of their own - even though they disagree with the choice and I won't be giving birth to it.

My biggest fear is that my SisterE will not see this baby as a niece or nephew, and my mom won't see it as a grandchild. My even bigger fear is that neither will see me as a true parent to this child - which I 100% am. Biology does not create families, Love creates families.

I love my family, I truly do, but I cannot be a party to their negativity any more. I have to cut strings and ties where they are needed in order to protect the integrity of my family unit, and out of respect for Craftymama. Yes, that does mean I will probably burn a few bridges, but I am hoping with time that they can be rebuilt. Nothing is broken forever - especially families.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Meet Steve


This is Steve. He is R's best friend, or in my opinion is R's best friend. I believe R found him randomly outside in the garden one day and they have been inseparable ever since. Steve plays all R's games with him, watches him eat, wears Pj's at bedtime, and yes - he is missing a hand. Usually, R puts a hook on him, like Captain Hook, made of beeswax. It's very endearing.

I never thought I'd have a child who had an imaginary best friend. I realize Steve isn't imaginary, but it's the same sort of thing. R has personified Steve, and Steve is very real to him - much like an imaginary friend would be. I never had one when I was growing up, that I can remember, and I don't remember any of my friends every having one either - though I am not sure they would have talked about it if they did.

It's very interesting to watch R play with Steve and see the games that are created. R is aware that Steve is much smaller than him, often making jokes about how short he is. R is aware of Steve's physical attributes and limitations but he is still very real.

I love watching his imagination expand and continue to grow like this as he gets older.

I realize this was an odd post, but Steve is such a vital person in our house that I wanted a place to remember him forever, and somewhere to show R when he gets older.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Baby5

We're having a baby! Andrea is pregnant and we are due in November - we are absolutely stoked and so are the kids.

Families are divided on how they feel about the whole situation - which was expected. 

The drama from my earlier post was about this news, and one sister finding out without me telling her, and the other sister not knowing what to do about it. So much drama over a little tiny human. Babies are always wonderful :) Ah well. 

Needless to say - we are having a baby! 

Friday, May 10, 2013

Thursday, May 9, 2013

My Knee

So back in 2003 I tore my ACL in my knee. It required surgeries and staples, and a not so caring doctor.

Lately, my knee has been flaring up again, it is swollen, my range of motion is limited, and it hurts. It happens for about two weeks and then goes away for about 2 weeks - give or take. I went to the walk - in clinic and he sent me for an X-ray. The X-ray came back and all the bones look good but I have extreme fluid around me knee which accounts for the swelling and limited range of motion.

I was then referred to my orthopedic surgeon from my first surgeries - I can't get into see him until July 29th. That's over two months away! For two months I am limited to walking and swimming - and since I don`t own a swimsuit I am relegated to walking. Walking will not help me lose weight. I need to lose weight. I know this. My meds, my previous psychotic break, and my poor eating habits/exercise during that time caused me to gain much weight. I've been trying to lose it for 1.5yrs now.

I actually have a gift certificate, from the trainer I worked with for a while, for an intense bootcamp - but I guess I can't go to that until this business with my knee is straightened out. I think an intense bootcamp would be great for me. I love to sweat and work hard, I love to push my body to the extremes and that's what a bootcamp does.

I am hoping my knee doesn't require surgery, but the doctor I saw today who referred me said to probably expect at least a scope done. Orthopedics like to cut people open evidently - ha ha ha. A scope wouldn't be too bad, I wouldn't have to be without my knee for long - maybe a day. I am hoping I won't need any more surgery than that though. I don't want to be without my leg again, I don't want to be on crutches, I don't want to be unable to drive and thus not go to work - and I certainly don't want the blood clot I got from my last surgery.

Ugh! Stupid knee!

Monday, May 6, 2013

Laundry Room and Meds

So, our washer crapped out. We used the tax refund to buy a washer (and fridge - cause that went too, and fix the van - cause that went on the same weekend ugh!). Washer delivered! Yay! Washer does not fit. We tried stacking it but that didn't work in the space either. So, what do we do? We widen the wall. Well, Craftymama and Glassman widen the wall - I went to pick up firewood and mowed the grass.

You can see the machines stacked here. This is the wall we are widening. 

It's lathe and plaster....

Which means a lot of mess

Add caption

Lathe and plaster removed
When they were taking off this top section, T saw it and thought  it was a treasure map - and was all excited, unfortunately it was not a map
The drywall went up as well, and after I crawled underneath the house to pull the dryer hose over to the vent (as that's what has to be done) we had working machines again. I can't tell you what it's like to not have working machines with 6 people in the house! Especially since Sunday is typically laundry day wherein I wash all the clothes ha ha ha. Now it needs to be taped, mudded, primed and painted. Then this wall is done - again.

I also wanted to touch on my comments from yesterday regarding the kids' school. I think a lot of my discontent with the school comes from my overall negative attitude as of late, which stems from me forgetting to take my medication. I hate being one of those people that needs it to stay stable, but evidently I am, and I need to accept that.

I don't hate the kids' school. I do prefer it, definitely, over public school. Maybe this is what all private schools are like - they require a lot of effort and time on the parts of the parents. Maybe it's hard for me to see all the good because by the time I get home the kids don't really want to talk about school any more. I don't know. I don't regret sending them to this school, I know in the long run it will be great, just sometimes my views get a little cloudy and that isn't helped by not taking my medication.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

May Festival

Yesterday was the kids' may festival at the school.

This festival is to celebrate May Day, a traditional welcoming of spring into the community and saying goodbye formally to winter.

It is a a day decorated with flowers and song.

There is also a traditional dance around the maypole for all classes. LittleR and and M did their maypole dances in their class, and R and K did them for the parents in the small field located by their classrooms - they weren't part of the Saturday festivities - that starts in grade 1 - next year for R.

It was a cute day. The kids got their faces/arms painted, played with bubbles, made crowns and kites, ate yummy local ice cream and tacos, and had fun playing soccer with their friends. R even made his way to the big tug o' war competition and took part - until he fell down.
LittleR was a cat

M was a scary guy

K walking around the maypole at her mini festival during the week

I'm finding myself needing a day, or a festival or something to remind myself why we make the sacrifices that we do to send our kids to this school. We make a lot of sacrifices, and work very hard to send our kids to this Waldorf school. I know I agreed to send them here, and I know I like it here - afterall, I *want* to be a waldorf teacher (though I think I have to let that dream go now), but they require so much funding, so much participation from the parents, and so much work - and I am struggling to see the benefits for the amount of effort it takes to send them there. I don't know, I find myself frustrated and annoyed lately. I need that warm fuzzy feeling that only Waldorf school can give me, to reassure me that all this effort, work, and money is worth it. Thankfully, Craftymama has had a few of those moments lately, but I don't really get to attend much because of work (pretty much only the financial meetings, and the 3 large festivals of the year; mayfest, christmas fair, pumpkin path). I rely on seeing the kids grow, excel, and love what they are doing to sustain me, but even that isn't working lately. Unfortunately, all that's left this year is a financial meeting to discuss next years rising tuition. *sigh* I know we are making the right decision, and I don't regret it, I just need to have that "a-ha" moment where it's just all so perfect.