Typical

This post is a hard one to write.

Its about baby5, who we have nicknamed Ziggy.

Ziggy has caused a lot of drama in my family. To say virtually no one is happy about it is pretty accurate. People are shocked, sad, offended, angry and a whole host of other things that surprise me.

I had told sisterN about our pregnancy first. Mainly because I knew she would be supportive, and I knew that she wouldn't tell other family members until I was ready to talk about it. I was timid to tell them, and I, especially, wanted to tell my mother in person. It just seemed more respectful and all around better to tell her in person. I knew she wouldn't be over the moon excited for us, but she still deserved hearing it from me, and from my face.

Well, what happened was SisterE confronted sisterN with her belief that Craftymama was pregnant. No idea how SisterE found out mind you. SisterN came to me and asked if I had told, and what she should say. I immediately texted SisterE. I couldn't believe she would go to my other sister rather than coming to me directly. So they then began fighting and have no talked since.

Fearing SisterE would tell my mom, I called her from work to tell her the news. We talked like she had never heard the news, and she presented her discontent and sadness at the whole situation; along with some other important issues between us. Turns out, SisterE had told my mother, and my mother had lied to me. She later told me she lief because "it's not like you have never lied to me." SisterE, meanwhile, told me she wasn't in a position to talk to me for the time being; so we aren't speaking anymore. However, my mom and I are still talking and are working on our relationship going forward.

The drama here seems so timid, but it is quite large and quite typical for my family. It seems one or more of us are always at odds with each other. It is getting quite tiring.

It also seems silly that my sisters aren't talking, and SisterE is not speaking to me over a new addition to the family. I get that they are shocked, and they may not agree with our decision to have another baby - but that doesn't mean that people need to stop speaking to each other. I am hoping that, when the baby is born, they will see this as an addition to our family, and consider it one of their own - even though they disagree with the choice and I won't be giving birth to it.

My biggest fear is that my SisterE will not see this baby as a niece or nephew, and my mom won't see it as a grandchild. My even bigger fear is that neither will see me as a true parent to this child - which I 100% am. Biology does not create families, Love creates families.

I love my family, I truly do, but I cannot be a party to their negativity any more. I have to cut strings and ties where they are needed in order to protect the integrity of my family unit, and out of respect for Craftymama. Yes, that does mean I will probably burn a few bridges, but I am hoping with time that they can be rebuilt. Nothing is broken forever - especially families.