Monday, June 29, 2015

What a month!

This month has been a whirlwind! I mean, June is already a busy month what with both R's birthdays...but this one takes the cake.

I would like to write more about the kids' education plans, and I hopefully will - but for now..just the bare bones.

At the beginning of June we lost our second car. We had already lost old crappy, and then the cradle on the white car rusted out and was shot. It would have been over two grand to fix it and the car isn't worth that much. It was crushed into a cube. My amazing work has been allowing me to use their extra car, but we were still without a way to get glassman to work. So..he went to live with his dad and rode a bike to work every morning. He would come home on weekends to see everyone. It was awful. All the kids, especially J missed him terribly. All the kids made him something for Father's day - it was adorable.

On June 10th, Big R celebrated his 9th birthday.
This is how I remember Big R. This is what he looked like when I first met him. Obsessed with cars, strong believer in gnomes and magic, silly, and just a joy to be around. Nearly immediately after meeting him I began to be around him and part of his upbringing every day. By the time he was 3.5 I was living with him, and becoming his mii mii. I will never forget the first time he called me that. I cried. I feel honoured that he has accepted me and loves me the way he does.
This is Big R on his birthday. Cars are boring. He has no time for 'boring adults.' He got an Ipod Shuffle as a gift and he likes listening to it and drowning everyone out. He still plays pretend every once in a while, and he still really wants to believe in magic. He is a very intelligent, very quiet boy. He is very sensitive and very in tune with his emotions. He feels strongly. He is growing up. It's scary and amazing to be part of that process.

Little R's birthday was on the 24th, but inbetween these two days some things happened. So, we our lease was originally up on June 15th, the landlord agreed to extend it to the 30th because the little kids weren't done school until the 19th. On the 23rd, Craftymama is in contact with me because the landlord is there freaking out and yelling at her. She is having a panic attack so I leave work and come home wherein the landlord and I get into an argument. He demands that we leave immediately. He calls me liar. Accuses me of a bunch of things. Threatens me with jail. I no longer felt safe in the house and neither did craftymama. So...we got a truck. We called glassman home from work and we started packing. My employers showed up with 3 trucks and 3 men to help us as well as dinner. I cried from their generosity. We loaded up a moving truck and a pick up truck in 5 hours and were done. The truck was stored at another friend's farm, with the pick up truck stuff in storage there until we could grab it. We then went to craftymama's dad's trailer and stayed there for a night before they told us to use their house and they would stay at the trailer.

So the next day, the 24th, is Little R's and Craftymama's birthdays.
This is my squishy. She was short and she was small and she was loud. She grounded me and brought me more into myself. Her birth was amazing and powerful and an experience that I will hold onto for as long as I can. She nursed and wanted to be with me - all the time.
Now she is my Little R. She is still short. She is still loud, and she still wants to be with me and near me all the time. She follows me around. She is feisty and she has opinions (especially about bananas). Her currency is cookies, she loves cookies. She is her own unique weird person now. She says weird one liners that I also hope I will be able to store away and remember as she gets older. 

This is also craftymama who celebrated her birthday on the same day. She is an amazing mother to our children, and an amazingly beautiful woman. I cherish every moment I get to spend with her, and she has helped me and supported me so so much over the past years. She is stronger than even she realizes. We fit - and its wonderful. 

So, we were going to go back to the house to clean, but the landlord has forbidden us from going on the property. He made accusation of theft and called the RCMP. He refuses to return the security deposit and has told us we owe him money for utilities but won't show us the bills. He also has our mail. I am not sure what happened. A week before this happened he had talked to the landlord of our new house and given us a glowing review and said he was sad lose us, and then a week later this happened. I'm thinking something has happened in his personal life and he is taking it out on us. I am trying to have compassion, and trying not to feel angry - but its hard. 

So we lived at Craftymama's dad's for 3 days and then our new landlord let us move in early to the new house - thankfully. So we did that on the 27th. Glassman and I unloaded the truck, we set it up. We are just missing the stuff from storage as I need a pickup truck to grab that stuff.

It's wonderful to be back in Nanaimo. We're home. This is where we should be. It sucks that I am commuting to work every day - but I love my job and I work for amazing people, and I know in my heart that my home and my family are in Nanaimo. 

It's been a whirlwind of a month between birthdays, cars, and houses. But I have been surrounded by amazing people who have held me and lifted me through all of this. The world continues to show me that it is a good place, even when I am in my darkest of times. It continues to provide me with examples true human compassion and empathy. I just need to remember all these things. 

Life is starting over - again. We are here. We are adjusting. We are home. 

Friday, June 5, 2015

Maybe have found a house!

So we think - maybe - just maybe - we have found a house!

It's in glassman and my old stomping grounds of Harewood, so where we grew up. Its got 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and an unfinished basement that we are planning on finishing. It's right across the street from a forested park and about a 5 minute walk from a big forested and swimming hole area with trails and everything. It really is a good house, as good as we could expect to find - given the size of our family and our credit history. It is a bit more money than I was hoping to spend but as Craftymama has pointed out, housing prices just keep going up and I can't expect to pay what I did 5 years ago.

We have a move date of the end of June. Craftymama has already started packing boxes - her goal is a box a day. Glassman and I are already lamenting at having load and unload all the things. We also need to find some living room furniture as we sold all of that when we moved into this house because it came partially furnished. We also need to get a desk and a computer that works because my work has said that they will allow me to work from home sometimes, so I need to be able to do that in a space where I won't be disturbed by the children.

Speaking of the children. M and LittleR will be pulled from the Waldorf School which kind of makes me sad as I wanted LittleR to finish the two years of kindergarten, but after having been home a few days as they were getting ready for school I see the stress that it causes and it isn't working for anyone, especially LittleR.

We will be following an unschooling type of education. This is akin to free learning. That is education that is not forced or coerced. Already, K has taught herself how to fluently read and she is working her way through numerous doctor and nurse books - as that's where her interest currently lie. M is also starting to read of his own interest. It a break from mainstream, but then, everything I seem to do in life is a break from mainstream.

I would really like to find a way to follow my passion and become a funeral director but I feel I am too old. They are, usually, family businesses and you just grow up in the business. There aren't many 30 year olds, especially women, who are like, "hey! I'd like to work with the dead and bereaving families." It would be an uphill battle that I don't know that I am ready for. Craftymama is following her dream to open up her own free school, and is hoping to do so in September of 2016. She is already working on her speech to present at a meeting she is planning on hosting in Nanaimo.

We are, yet again, in an age of change. A relocation, a potential change in careers, a change in educational focus. Everything is on faith and trust. Faith and trust in eachother.