I have been back at work for...idk..15 days? It's really different work from what I was doing - obviously. It's retail for starters, and I am a nobody, I am the bottom of the proverbial totem pole. I get along with everyone I have met, I have learned a lot about cannabis - I meant I knew a lot already from Salvation Botanicals, but I am learning more. I am approaching cannabis from three points of interest: recreational, medicinal, and spiritual. Not many people are into the spiritual aspect, but it's an avenue I am exploring - with craftymama by My side. It's really kind of cool to learn all about these different methods of ingestion, and what works for different things and different people. I love trouble shooting what they are looking for and giving suggestions. Plus everyone who comes into a dispensary is pretty chill - except that one woman who wasn't..but that's okay, it was exciting. It's run a lot more business like which I wasn't expecting. I kind of wish it was more relaxed, but in an industry like this I can appreciate why it has to be, especially with new legislation coming into effect soon. Plus - Staff Discount! I don't work that often, partially by design, and partially by scheduling. I'm honestly okay with that, when I got the job I kind of wished I had waited longer to look and had some more completely work free time. So this works. Financially...well..I'm not stressed, but..it's a change. craftymama is pulling in good money from HCD so that is definitely helping a bit too!
I have had moments of panic, mostly in the last like week or so, that I made a mistake. I left a career potential job, that had stability, My only friends, a living wage..really I was quite lucky. I left it all with no back up plan. And I took what is to most people an entry level position, paying $2 an hour less, with less hours. I told one group of people and was asked if I would still be looking for something else, implying that this work isn't good enough. It's not what one would think of as a long term thing - and maybe it won't be for Me, nothing is keeping Me there, but I realized that there is so much more to life than having a job that is seen as successful by other people. I don't mean that in a bad way. I don't mean that people shouldn't strive for success. What I mean is that everyone should strive to make their own success - and for one person that may be a long term stable job, for another that may be making a certain amount of money, and maybe for Me at least right now, it looks like spending more time with My family. Eventually, I want to actually do more things, have more adventures - get up before sunrise and have coffee as the day begins...etc..etc...but I am working on that. craftymama calls it de-working...kind of like kids need de-schooling...I want to start utilizing My time more. Listening to lectures and podcasts of stuff I want to learn about, and formulate how to make money while traveling in the bus. I want to get outside more, see more places, be amazed more.
I still worry, sometimes, that I made the wrong decision. Everything changed when I left. My outlook on life, My relationship with craftymama and the kids and glassman, finances, vehicles...everything is different. craftymama and I were talking the other day about pivotal moments in our lives, where if we had made one different decision absolutely everything about our lives would be different. The decision to join the mom's group was one of them for sure for Me, and quitting My job is another. I am fairly confident it was the right decision. My therapist tells Me it was...HaHa!
