I really should have taken pictures of this. But it's a memory I think will stay with the kids forever, and one that will stay with me.
I took all the kids, solo, to the lake this weekend to play. There is a big grassy hill, playground, sand, and the lake - the kids couldn't go swimming but they did dip their feet in. Sand was dug in, a soccer ball was chased, and we watched several boats depart to go fishing. We even talked to a fisherman who showed the kids all the different parts of a fishing rod, and the tools he uses for the fish. The kids were enthralled.
So while I was sitting on the grass they went over to the dock where some more people were actually catching fish, and with childhood interest asked to see a fish. Two minutes later they were running over to me, bag in hand. What was in the bag? A fish. Not one to show me, or to look at -but one to keep!
Que my shock - what was I to do with a dead fish? They were very excited by said fish and immediately started asking questions. Dead or alive? How did it die? What is that red stuff? Can we touch the eyes? Can I hold it? What will we do with it? Can we eat it?
So after discussing this fish with several people as to what I should do with it I was told the easiest way to prepare it was to gut it and then pan fry it. All right then - fish for snack.
So I wrap the thing up in a bag and bring it home (with a stop for ice cream on the way - it was a good day for the kids). I first tried a butchers knife, but quickly realized in order to split a fish and cut off its head/tail you need a serated knife - or at least I did. So I did that, gutted it, pulled out as many bones as I could, and threw it in the hot pan.
Let's just say fish cooks fast, and it was falling apart, I ended up making not fillets like I intended to, but more scrambled fish. I set little bowls of fish in front of the kids expecting them to be disgusted by this thing they just saw as an animal now presented towards them as a meal. But nope, they devoured it, and want more!
Perhaps I should take them fishing one day.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Friday, May 17, 2013
Typical
This post is a hard one to write.
Its about baby5, who we have nicknamed Ziggy.
Ziggy has caused a lot of drama in my family. To say virtually no one is happy about it is pretty accurate. People are shocked, sad, offended, angry and a whole host of other things that surprise me.
I had told sisterN about our pregnancy first. Mainly because I knew she would be supportive, and I knew that she wouldn't tell other family members until I was ready to talk about it. I was timid to tell them, and I, especially, wanted to tell my mother in person. It just seemed more respectful and all around better to tell her in person. I knew she wouldn't be over the moon excited for us, but she still deserved hearing it from me, and from my face.
Well, what happened was SisterE confronted sisterN with her belief that Craftymama was pregnant. No idea how SisterE found out mind you. SisterN came to me and asked if I had told, and what she should say. I immediately texted SisterE. I couldn't believe she would go to my other sister rather than coming to me directly. So they then began fighting and have no talked since.
Fearing SisterE would tell my mom, I called her from work to tell her the news. We talked like she had never heard the news, and she presented her discontent and sadness at the whole situation; along with some other important issues between us. Turns out, SisterE had told my mother, and my mother had lied to me. She later told me she lief because "it's not like you have never lied to me." SisterE, meanwhile, told me she wasn't in a position to talk to me for the time being; so we aren't speaking anymore. However, my mom and I are still talking and are working on our relationship going forward.
The drama here seems so timid, but it is quite large and quite typical for my family. It seems one or more of us are always at odds with each other. It is getting quite tiring.
It also seems silly that my sisters aren't talking, and SisterE is not speaking to me over a new addition to the family. I get that they are shocked, and they may not agree with our decision to have another baby - but that doesn't mean that people need to stop speaking to each other. I am hoping that, when the baby is born, they will see this as an addition to our family, and consider it one of their own - even though they disagree with the choice and I won't be giving birth to it.
My biggest fear is that my SisterE will not see this baby as a niece or nephew, and my mom won't see it as a grandchild. My even bigger fear is that neither will see me as a true parent to this child - which I 100% am. Biology does not create families, Love creates families.
I love my family, I truly do, but I cannot be a party to their negativity any more. I have to cut strings and ties where they are needed in order to protect the integrity of my family unit, and out of respect for Craftymama. Yes, that does mean I will probably burn a few bridges, but I am hoping with time that they can be rebuilt. Nothing is broken forever - especially families.
Its about baby5, who we have nicknamed Ziggy.
Ziggy has caused a lot of drama in my family. To say virtually no one is happy about it is pretty accurate. People are shocked, sad, offended, angry and a whole host of other things that surprise me.
I had told sisterN about our pregnancy first. Mainly because I knew she would be supportive, and I knew that she wouldn't tell other family members until I was ready to talk about it. I was timid to tell them, and I, especially, wanted to tell my mother in person. It just seemed more respectful and all around better to tell her in person. I knew she wouldn't be over the moon excited for us, but she still deserved hearing it from me, and from my face.
Well, what happened was SisterE confronted sisterN with her belief that Craftymama was pregnant. No idea how SisterE found out mind you. SisterN came to me and asked if I had told, and what she should say. I immediately texted SisterE. I couldn't believe she would go to my other sister rather than coming to me directly. So they then began fighting and have no talked since.
Fearing SisterE would tell my mom, I called her from work to tell her the news. We talked like she had never heard the news, and she presented her discontent and sadness at the whole situation; along with some other important issues between us. Turns out, SisterE had told my mother, and my mother had lied to me. She later told me she lief because "it's not like you have never lied to me." SisterE, meanwhile, told me she wasn't in a position to talk to me for the time being; so we aren't speaking anymore. However, my mom and I are still talking and are working on our relationship going forward.
The drama here seems so timid, but it is quite large and quite typical for my family. It seems one or more of us are always at odds with each other. It is getting quite tiring.
It also seems silly that my sisters aren't talking, and SisterE is not speaking to me over a new addition to the family. I get that they are shocked, and they may not agree with our decision to have another baby - but that doesn't mean that people need to stop speaking to each other. I am hoping that, when the baby is born, they will see this as an addition to our family, and consider it one of their own - even though they disagree with the choice and I won't be giving birth to it.
My biggest fear is that my SisterE will not see this baby as a niece or nephew, and my mom won't see it as a grandchild. My even bigger fear is that neither will see me as a true parent to this child - which I 100% am. Biology does not create families, Love creates families.
I love my family, I truly do, but I cannot be a party to their negativity any more. I have to cut strings and ties where they are needed in order to protect the integrity of my family unit, and out of respect for Craftymama. Yes, that does mean I will probably burn a few bridges, but I am hoping with time that they can be rebuilt. Nothing is broken forever - especially families.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Meet Steve
This is Steve. He is R's best friend, or in my opinion is R's best friend. I believe R found him randomly outside in the garden one day and they have been inseparable ever since. Steve plays all R's games with him, watches him eat, wears Pj's at bedtime, and yes - he is missing a hand. Usually, R puts a hook on him, like Captain Hook, made of beeswax. It's very endearing.
I never thought I'd have a child who had an imaginary best friend. I realize Steve isn't imaginary, but it's the same sort of thing. R has personified Steve, and Steve is very real to him - much like an imaginary friend would be. I never had one when I was growing up, that I can remember, and I don't remember any of my friends every having one either - though I am not sure they would have talked about it if they did.
It's very interesting to watch R play with Steve and see the games that are created. R is aware that Steve is much smaller than him, often making jokes about how short he is. R is aware of Steve's physical attributes and limitations but he is still very real.
I love watching his imagination expand and continue to grow like this as he gets older.
I realize this was an odd post, but Steve is such a vital person in our house that I wanted a place to remember him forever, and somewhere to show R when he gets older.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Baby5
We're having a baby! Andrea is pregnant and we are due in November - we are absolutely stoked and so are the kids.
Families are divided on how they feel about the whole situation - which was expected.
The drama from my earlier post was about this news, and one sister finding out without me telling her, and the other sister not knowing what to do about it. So much drama over a little tiny human. Babies are always wonderful :) Ah well.
Needless to say - we are having a baby!
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Friday, May 10, 2013
Thursday, May 9, 2013
My Knee
So back in 2003 I tore my ACL in my knee. It required surgeries and staples, and a not so caring doctor.
Lately, my knee has been flaring up again, it is swollen, my range of motion is limited, and it hurts. It happens for about two weeks and then goes away for about 2 weeks - give or take. I went to the walk - in clinic and he sent me for an X-ray. The X-ray came back and all the bones look good but I have extreme fluid around me knee which accounts for the swelling and limited range of motion.
I was then referred to my orthopedic surgeon from my first surgeries - I can't get into see him until July 29th. That's over two months away! For two months I am limited to walking and swimming - and since I don`t own a swimsuit I am relegated to walking. Walking will not help me lose weight. I need to lose weight. I know this. My meds, my previous psychotic break, and my poor eating habits/exercise during that time caused me to gain much weight. I've been trying to lose it for 1.5yrs now.
I actually have a gift certificate, from the trainer I worked with for a while, for an intense bootcamp - but I guess I can't go to that until this business with my knee is straightened out. I think an intense bootcamp would be great for me. I love to sweat and work hard, I love to push my body to the extremes and that's what a bootcamp does.
I am hoping my knee doesn't require surgery, but the doctor I saw today who referred me said to probably expect at least a scope done. Orthopedics like to cut people open evidently - ha ha ha. A scope wouldn't be too bad, I wouldn't have to be without my knee for long - maybe a day. I am hoping I won't need any more surgery than that though. I don't want to be without my leg again, I don't want to be on crutches, I don't want to be unable to drive and thus not go to work - and I certainly don't want the blood clot I got from my last surgery.
Ugh! Stupid knee!
Lately, my knee has been flaring up again, it is swollen, my range of motion is limited, and it hurts. It happens for about two weeks and then goes away for about 2 weeks - give or take. I went to the walk - in clinic and he sent me for an X-ray. The X-ray came back and all the bones look good but I have extreme fluid around me knee which accounts for the swelling and limited range of motion.
I was then referred to my orthopedic surgeon from my first surgeries - I can't get into see him until July 29th. That's over two months away! For two months I am limited to walking and swimming - and since I don`t own a swimsuit I am relegated to walking. Walking will not help me lose weight. I need to lose weight. I know this. My meds, my previous psychotic break, and my poor eating habits/exercise during that time caused me to gain much weight. I've been trying to lose it for 1.5yrs now.
I actually have a gift certificate, from the trainer I worked with for a while, for an intense bootcamp - but I guess I can't go to that until this business with my knee is straightened out. I think an intense bootcamp would be great for me. I love to sweat and work hard, I love to push my body to the extremes and that's what a bootcamp does.
I am hoping my knee doesn't require surgery, but the doctor I saw today who referred me said to probably expect at least a scope done. Orthopedics like to cut people open evidently - ha ha ha. A scope wouldn't be too bad, I wouldn't have to be without my knee for long - maybe a day. I am hoping I won't need any more surgery than that though. I don't want to be without my leg again, I don't want to be on crutches, I don't want to be unable to drive and thus not go to work - and I certainly don't want the blood clot I got from my last surgery.
Ugh! Stupid knee!
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