Okay - so I'm aware the date stamp on this is going to say the 7th. But it's 12:25a, and I haven't gone to bed yet - so this still counts as part of my daily challenge to write a post each day. My day is just long :)
I want to talk a little bit about self care. A couple of weeks back I did something that I never do. I did something completely for me, that inconvenienced other people. Not maliciously inconvenienced, but still.
As people know, I have both bipolar 2, and borderline personality disorder (more on that in another entry as well...oh I have so much to say!). Self care, while important to everyone, is vitally important to me and not something that I do well. But I have been working on it. I can't really name what it is that I do for self care, but above all else, I can feel myself listening to my needs more and taking steps to get those needs met as opposed to waiting for someone else to meet them for me.
So, last year, randomly listening to Spotify, when a song comes on. I immediately latch onto it, and ask my friend across the desk who it is and she tells me it's a song called Life We Chose by Jared and the Mill. I make a mental note, go home, listen again and get hooked on their music. They are an indie band from Arizona. I follow them on social media and do the fan girl thing where I try to convince them to come to Canada. So back in December they announce a new tour and one of the stops is Seattle. I have a thought that it would be fun to go but don't really make much of it.
Then I literally just decided one day, why don't I go?
So I decided I would go to Seattle, alone, for a concert.
See the thing is I had made this plan in my head, but I never actually believed I would take the steps to make it happen because I don't do things like this. But then I found myself leaving work early to drive to Victoria to get a passport. Then I bought a ticket. I told people I was going, and it become real.
I freaked out and I swear I nearly decided I wasn't going.
Friday came and I went and visited a friend in Victoria; which was amazing, and after much walking and travel mishaps the next day - found myself in Seattle.
The trip was great. I met the band, I saw them live. I cried, I sang, I danced with random strangers. I slept in a hostel and travelled back home the next day.
I left Glassman and Craftymama to parent and adult by themselves for an entire weekend while I went away and did something for myself. It was an incredibly rewarding experience.
It made me realize that I am allowed to inconvenience people sometimes. I don't always have to meet everyone's needs, and have them come first. I can do things for me. Maybe not escape for a whole weekend, every weekend, to another country. But - it's okay to do things for me.
I aim to do things like this more often.