Monday, June 3, 2013

Breaking New Ground?

Today is LGBT Families Day. We are encouraged to post our stories on what it is like to live in a LGBT family, or to know one in our lives.

I wanted to point out a few different things I have noticed since living in a LGBT family.


  • People ask you who the real or birth mom is all the time. I assume this would be true for two dads. For some reason it is okay to ask these types of inappropriate  questions to same sex couples. 
  • Names on forms actually bother you. At our school all the forms were mother and father - and we never knew how to fill them out. Craftymama and I are together, and have full custody of the kids. They have two mothers who they live with, not a mother and a father. We approached the school, maturely and nicely, and asked them to change the forms to parents, or have the option for two fathers or two mothers. You know what? They did, with no questions or judgments. It feels good to have them listen to us and make the change. 
  • When we go out and hold hands people still stare at us, especially when we have the kids with us. 
  • You are much more aware of how little same sex couples are portrayed in every day media. There are very few movies or shows where gays and lesbians are the prominent figures and not just cast to be the comedic relief. 
  • On that same note, there are very few books for kids with two moms or two dads - you have to really want to search for them. This is unfair to our kids who never get to read stories that have families similar to theirs. Especially Ziggy, who will not know his/her donor in the same way the kids know glassman and cableman. For him/her having that literature to reinforce that our family is completely okay is vitally important to Craftymama and myself. 
  • Our kids are resilient. On Mother's Day Big R insisted on making two of everything because he has two moms. They know their family, and they know how to show their love and support - they are not phased by having to ask for the things they want to equalize their families with all the others - at least not yet.
  • Legally speaking, because I am not a genetic parent to Ziggy - I have to adopt my own child. I will have been there through preplanning, conception, the pregnancy; everything, and yet I still have to pay to and adopt my own child. *This* is unfair. 

It has been quite the experience living in  LGBT household so far, there are not very  many of us in our area, but our community has been so accepting of us. There have been no judgments, at least not to our faces, and everyone has included both of us. It's been wonderful to be a part of such a welcoming community, I can't imagine what it is like for those who have to face homophobia on a daily basis. To face discrimination based on something that is at the very core of their being. It is so unfair. 

I am proud of my family. I am proud of any family, LGBT or not who have the courage to stand up and be who they are, and find peace in who they are. 

1 comment:

  1. Well said. I never thought of forms being mother/father, I will check the kids school forms. On a side note, Olivia trains with a girl at gym who has two dads. Not one of the kids in the group thinks twice about it. The only thing olivia mentioned was that her friend would have to make two Father's Day presents and thy were boring, Mother's Day presents were better.

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