Surgery and Homeschool

My surgery date was changed to this Monday, at noon. I had work that I really needed to get done, and now I lose that day - it is very frustrating. This will be the 4th time I have been under general anesthesia. The first was for endometriosis, and the second and third were for my knee.

I am more nervous this time then I was any of the other times. Maybe it's because I'm older now, or maybe it's because I know I can't just recover this time, I still have to go to work and parent the kids. Craftymama has asked how dependent on her I will be, and I am hoping not very much. It is my aim to return to work Thursday, I know I will still be on crutches - but we can't really afford for me to take all that time off.

We are considering homeschooling the kids once they get to the grade school. So keeping them in the waldorf program for preschool and kindergarten, and then having them at home. We would combine curriculum's so K and BigR would be doing the same grade, and M and LittleR would also be doing the same grade. It would be nearly impossible for Andrea to teach four separate yet so closely related curriculum's to them. We would probably follow the waldorf style - perhaps the Christopherus Program. We have talked to quite a few parents in the Sunrise grade school who aren't all that impressed with how things are progressing and being structured. we don't want our kids to be the guinea pigs while they try to find something that works. We're not paying for our kids to be the guinea pigs. We have to decide relatively soon though because re-registration is in like 2 months, and if K and BigR are going to start than we won't be registering them, plus we'd also need to order the homeschooling supplies so that we can plan and organize ourselves a bit. It's a big decision, and not one we are taking at all lightly.

Welcome J and Welcome 2014

So 2013 is over. I haven't updated in a long time for a myriad of reasons, none of which I really want to discuss here.

J was born November 10th at 12:50a. He was 10lbs 10oz and 23" long - a big guy! Nothing went as planned from the water birth to the timing of day - but he is here! He is pretty cute - although already bigger than the girls were at 6months old! He has a night schedule already, including waking up nearly every night/morning at 4:30a because he has gas. Craftymama passes him to me and I scrunch up his legs, roll his hips, pat his back to relieve the pressure and then after however long that takes I pass him back to be nursed back to sleep for hopefully a little while longer before the rest of the kids wake up.

Just newly born

J drunk on sleep

This non gestational parent journey of mine is far from over, in fact, contrary to what I thought, it is only just beginning. I have much respect and adoration for all dads and adoptive parents out there. While my perspective is, of course, different than the aforementioned people, we do share some commonalities. It's a hard road, there is much learning to be done, but I am willing and open.

The kids have adjust remarkably well to his arrival. They all want to hold him and be near him, and so far, at 7.5 weeks, have done well with having to wait a little bit longer for things if he is fussing/nursing or whatever.

Christmas was different this year. Finances were tighter for everyone. Glassman and Cableman are both without work right now for very different reasons, and we have been dealing with an angry neighbor who caused us to have to spend significant funds on a tree in our yard, a small flooding of our bathrooms, my one job refusing to give me an ROE so I can't get EI, and a bunch of different things. The kids had a great time and were spoiled - as usual. It was nice to see the family I did get a chance to see, and I miss the ones I didn't.

New Years was quiet - I was sick, and we have a new baby so neither of us really made it until midnight. Though R was asking why we don't have any traditions for the welcoming of the new year, so we may start something next year.

I'm not in school any more :( I was having a hard time with my depression, but was pushing through that and finally making some head way with the help of my professor when I found out my work didn't pay my tuition which means I was withdrawn from the course. So that sucks.

I was also demoted at work after my parental leave. I was told I was pretty much failing at all aspects of my job - so they brought someone over to fill the administrative role and I will go back to focusing on marketing and what not.

I have my knee surgery on January 14th, it'll be my third one. I also got two teeth pulled on December 24th, between those two things and the two successions I got of the flu a mere two weeks a part - I've been hurting lately.

The stress keeps piling on. There are big changes for our family again this year, but I am not at liberty to discuss them yet. Every year is a year of big changes it seems. It seems at 28 (turning 29 this year) I have to accept that I am an adult now, damn aging!, and make adult decisions. These decisions are hard and will affect my family for the rest of our lives. I wish I could see the future sometimes.

Big R's School

BigR's class is going through some rough times. There first teacher couldn't handle the class of 23 kids, and she quit. Since then there have been rotating teachers in the room.

This is not what we signed up for at a waldorf school. One thing waldorf prides itself on is routine and consistency - those are two things this grade 1 class has been lacking since the beginning of the year. Since the teacher quit, there have been virtually no academics, which means BigR has been enjoying school more - but again, this is not what we pay for.

Affording waldorf school isn't a walk in the park. We sacrifice other things so that our kids can have this opportunity, and I am just not impressed with grade 1. ECE (early childhood education) that is preschool and kindergarten is an absolutely magical place. I love the teachers, love the learning style, love everything about it - but this is our first go around with the grades school and I am just not impressed at all.

It's frustrating. BigR needs the most routine, as he is by far the most sensitive to change, and he is simply not getting it. The 'bad' kids in class were getting all of the (negative) attention, leaving the quiet kids to fend for themselves. It's just not been a positive environment.

Homeschool?

From Dark to Light

My dad is officially in the ground. I wasn't there. I should have been there. My heart is heavy today. I want someone to hug me, I want to tell people that my dad just died, and how awful it is. Unfortunately, we don't live in a culture where the expression of grief is met with open arms - instead it is met with awkward stares and silence.

Craftymama is 38 weeks 2 days pregnant now. The midwife was surprised to see us on Monday, and says she will be shocked if we make it to our 39week appointment next Monday. I keep my phone close at hand at all times waiting for a text from Craftymama to come home because it is happening. That is going to be one of the longest drives in the world. I will try not to speed or be too distracted.

BigR is having a rough time at school. There were numerous problems with his teacher, who ended up quitting and now they are left without a teacher. This kid needs the most stability out of all the kids we have, and he is the one who has the least at school. I mean, I get it, Waldorf teachers are probably harder to find then regular teachers, but at the same time - this is a private school, we are paying for our children to go to this school, and I think, as a result, we should be able to expect certain things. It is not the school's fault that the teacher quit, it's just a frustrating as a parent for things to be so up in the air. We have considered pulling him from school at least until things are settled into a routine and there is consistency there.

I am doing better, emotionally. I met with my professor for the MBA class I am taking, and we agreed to a slightly different structure for my coursework this year, due to the classes and assignments I have missed because of my depression and my dad dying. I am catching up at work, and beginning to enjoy it again. I am more present at home, and feel like I am actually participating. We have a wonderful new tradition, I don't really know how it started, but every Sunday now I make french toast for everyone. Every second Sunday when Glassman and the girls are there we go through an entire loaf of bread. Each week one of the kids sits on the counter and helps me by passing the bread and eggs and what not. Last week it was BigR who never sits on the counter, he was giddy and loved it. After last Sundays breakfast we carved our pumpkins. Cableman even got up and came down early (as we had to carve them before I started work at 11:00a), so we could all do them together. There were 6 pumpkins to carve. As per tradition I do BigR's, Glassman does K's, Cableman does M's, and Craftymama does LittleR's. I don't know how it started for me to do BigR's, but it's a thing now.

The kids are also very excited about their upcoming lantern walks to celebrate Martinmaas, and the changing from light to dark. I have made all the lanterns, as I seem to do every year, and the kids are gleeful. I would get pictures, as it is quite the magical event, but it takes place in near dark, so you wouldn't be able to see anything.

I am officially on parental leave from my part time job. I was accidentally sent an email from my boss to the regional manager that said he didn't want me back when I left, so that sparked a series of discussions between us. But, they can't fire me for going on parental leave. It'll be nice not to work the upcoming evenings or weekends. I used to work my normal work week here in Nanaimo from 8:00-4:30p (save for Wednesdays wherein I have school from 9-12), and then on Thursdays and Fridays I would go straight to my other job and work there 5:30-8:30. I would also work there on Saturdays (10-6) and Sundays (11-5). It'll be great to have some time off and be at home.

Well, I think that's all for me. Maybe next time I update I'll have a picture of a squishy newborn to share! For now though, here is a picture of the kids at the big pumpkin pile where we pick out our pumpkins!

Pre Masters Papers

I haven't written a paper for University in a long time, think like 6+ years. I have nearly forgotten how. Couple that with the fact that I have never written a higher level paper, just bachelors papers.

I'm sure it's mostly me doing it, but I am so stressed out about this paper and how good it needs to be. I read over another paper from last semesters group and it seems so smart and intelligent and mine, well, mine just seems average. Granted, it's not just my paper, it is a group paper (and presentation) but I just feel like ours is falling short, like it should sound smarter given the level of learning we are at. I feel I have worked hard on it, and whatever grade I (we) get, I deserve, but I just wish I could find a way to make it sound more advanced. Perhaps if I had opportunity to start working on it before like 9:00p every night that might help, but such is life. That's when my time allows me to start working on school, so I need to adjust.

In between frantic texts from my work about picking up more shifts, even though I have said no multiple times, dropping off packages for work at various businesses, and wanting to be with my family whom I don't feel I've seen much recently, my group is texting me asking where I am, when I can meet etc, and as soon as I can meet, as I did want to stop to say hi to the kids, they decide they are all too tired to meet. Now we have to meet tonight at 8:30p, even later than the meeting would have been yesterday, to finish up this project due tomorrow. I'm so stressed out by this, I have no idea how it's going to go, and worry about it.

I'm even more worried about the final, as I really have no idea what has been discussed in this class. He goes off on tangents and talks about random things, no core substance. I hate having exams based on classes like that. I hate not knowing what it is I am supposed to be learning. But my exam isn't until next week, so for now I am just going to worry about this paper and presentation due tomorrow.

B's and Knees

So I finally, FINALLY, got my economics mark back. Somehow in the grand scheme of trying and learning I passed the whole course with a B- grade. I am so impressively proud of myself. I honestly tried my hardest, and for the first time in a while I feel like I actually earned that grade, I worked for the grade. As I said, school comes easy for me in most cases, but not economics - economics was hard. So I have an A and a B- so far in my courses.

I have also registered for my fall course, I will be taking The Effective Manager, this sounds both interesting and exciting. I have no idea what a course like this entails but I am hoping it's a good one. I'll only be going once a week starting in September so my schedule will be a little bit more normal thankfully.

In other unrelated news, I saw my orthopedic surgeon today regarding my recurrent knee issues. He is almost positive I have torn my meniscus - maybe both of them, and as such will need surgery again. My surgery date is January 14th 2014, though I did put myself on a short list in case people cancelled. The sooner I get it done and over with the sooner it's done and over with.

In terms of exercise, he told me to never trust it, even when it's feeling good. He said to not push it too hard, but that I should try swimming as it will help loosen things up in there, and will be good exercise for me. Now only if I a) had a bathing suit, b) felt comfortable enough to wear a bathing suit in public and c) actually had the *time* to exercise in the first place.

I used to love going swimming, its a great cardio workout, or it was for me, though seeing as how it's been ages since I've done it, I'm sure it'd be quite the workout again.

The recovery time for surgery will be off of it completely the next day, and then 3-5days on crutches, and then it won't fully be back to normal for about 6 weeks. It's better healing time, obviously, than my ACL surgery was, but it still sucks. We will have a new baby, I will be in school and working, and I have no idea how I am going to manage it all while being a gibble. I mean, I know I will because I'm too stubborn not to, but why do I have to keep having issues with my knee?

I'm over it.

'A''s

So I got an 'A' in my Marketing class. That's right, in a masters level class, I actually got an A. I am so impressed with myself. I was honestly just expecting to pass my classes, and not do exceedingly well. But I really loved Marketing. I loved the concepts, adored the professor, and really enjoyed the class as a whole.

Still no economics mark - I am still nervous.

The girls spent 4 days at Glassman's house, and I missed them terribly. I think that's the longest I have gone without seeing them. With my work schedule, I went 3 days without seeing the boys - that might be the longest I've gone without seeing them. It's so hard being away from them, and away from my home so much with work and school.

I did get to spend a night at my sisters house, and it's always fun to hang out with her. She made me a nice dinner, we talked, we watched House, and I got to play with her adorable son, and my nephew, C. I wish there was a way that I could spend more time with her. I wish my family were in general closer, and that we were able to see each other more. Perhaps as our kids get older, our schedules become less hectic, and we all mature a little bit - it will become easier.

LittleR's drawings have taken on a new form. She now draws people, like people that look like people. It's quite incredible, as it seems like only last week she was still drawing random shapes and scribbles. BigR is still obsessed with Waldo and draws Waldo scenes (he copies a picture from one of his books) every day. He always hides every little thing, and wants us to find them all. M has been incredibly cute with Ziggy, he is the sweetest of all the children with this pregnancy. He constantly tells Ziggy how he is going to share his cars and blankie, and he felt Ziggy kick just a few days ago. He is such an adorable little boy. K, I think, is missing me most with my new schedule of work/school. I mean, all the kids miss me terribly, but I think she is having the hardest time. She doesn't want to fall asleep, and asks me everyday if she is going to see my the next day and why I have to work all the time. It's heart breaking.

T lounging with a monkey

LittleR's Crazy hair. 

K - she really is quite pretty, and she knows it!

BigR wearing cableman's hat - he was so proud

It's not failure if you try your best right?

I've never really worked hard at school. It's always come relatively easy for me - and for that I am both grateful and extremely lucky. I took it for granted. I never felt like I ever had anything really to prove to anyone. I was satisfied with passing, happy when I got a B and was honestly used to getting A's. I just never cared all that much.

With this MBA program, I actually care. I feel like I have something to prove to my employer - who is sponsoring me, and to myself. I feel like I need to prove to my employer that I am worthy of being sponsored, and that I will earn it by working harder and applying what I learn. I need to prove to myself that I am capable of going back to school at 28, and capable of doing well. I knew these courses and this program would challenge me. I was looking forward to that.

I am not used to challenges like this. Not only does my brain not think in terms of economics, but it has a difficult time remembering the stuff I am able to comprehend in the first place. Economics is hard. Not just the formulas and graphs to remember, but also the concepts. They just seem so above my thinking level.

I actually completed the recommended homework, as much as I could grasp. I paid attention in class, sat at the front, and took notes. I read the textbook - again and again. When I couldn't grasp the concepts before the midterm, I made an appointment with the professor to seek help, he gave me 10 minutes of his time and told me I needed to understand the concepts better. As a last ditch effort for the midterm, I committed to memory as many of the formulas as I could, and guessed on the rest - I past with a 72%. I didn't feel that I knew 72% of the information, I felt like I had gotten lucky.

For the remainder of the class, which was only two weeks from the time of the midterm to the time of the final (the class is a semesters worth condensed into four weeks of learning), I tried harder. I looked over the notes of my classmates. I worked extremely hard, and with much focus on my group presentation - which I actually think I did well on, more so because I am a great public speaker, and I am proud of that. I studied.

I never study. I put my music on, as I can focus better with music playing, sat down at the table and spent my entire evenings studying. I didn't knit a single stitch. I spent no time with Craftymama. I began to understand some of the graphs. The concepts were becoming a little clearer. The formulas no longer seemed to be written in another language.

Then, today, I had the final. And it was the worst exam I have ever written in my entire life. It was so difficult. Even in talking with my other colleagues afterwards, we all agreed that it was especially challenging.

I took my time. I really thought about each question. Problem was, the concepts, formulas, and graphs I had worked so hard on - were nowhere in the final. I realized afterwards that I wrote about the wrong topic for my essay question. I simply couldn't answer one of the long answer questions.

If I fail this class I don't get into the MBA program. I have to pay my boss back for the money he has invested so far. Potentially the worst thing is that I will have disappointed my boss and even myself.

I honestly tried my best, and my best really doesn't feel like it's going to be good enough.

I don't know the results yet, and I am slightly afraid to.

It's not a true failure if you try your best. Or so I am told.

Being an Adult

Being an adult can be so hard sometimes, oh, who am I kidding, it's pretty much hard all the time.

We have reached a point where decisions need to be made that will greatly affect our future, and where we are and what we do. They are scary decisions that we don't at all feel qualified to make. Things don't always go the way you want them, and sometimes you make mistakes. Sometimes these mistakes are large, and they are hard to fix.

That's where we are now.

The kids are great. Our pregnancy goes well as well. We are 23 weeks now, and given Craftymama's track record we are probably about 15 weeks away from having our little Ziggy in our arms. We are slowly getting things prepared.

The living room is nearing completion in terms of paint - just one more coat, but the blood red is officially dead - to Craftymama's delight! It looks so much bigger and brighter - I am amazed at how much taller the ceiling looks now that it's this hazelnut cream colour.

We are planning on painting the stairs, the upstairs landing, and the boys' room in mid August. Cableman (who no longer works there but has an at home business), is going to take the boys over night to his parents house, and Glassman will have the girls so it'll just be Craftymama and myself - this will make it a lot easier to do and to paint. It will be a pain in the butt taking all the boys' crap out of their room though - there is a lot of it!

I have finals for my first set of classes next week, and then I am half done my foundation courses, I am praying and hoping I pass. More than that though - I am actually studying and doing my non required homework - something I never used to do. I am trying so hard to do well in these classes, I need to do well, I *have* to do well. But I know all I can do is my best, and so long as I am doing that I shouldn't be ashamed. I get my mark back for my Economics midterm today (hopefully) and I am so scared. My brain just does not compute economics well, even though I study every day (minus a day here or there) and I ask questions in class. The knowledge just does not want to sink in. But I did my best on that midterm, and all I am hoping for is a pass.

Long Weekend

I was working this past weekend, on Saturday and Monday (I was supposed to work Sunday, but opted to take it off).

I spent Sunday, all day, in my pj's blissfully dozing on the couch, knitting, and reading stories to the kids. It was a wonderful day. The only reason I got dressed was because I had to walk the dog in the evening.

On Saturday, I went grocery shopping at 7:00a and then went to work for 8:30a.  Craftymama took the kids up to Nanaimo to drop off the girls to Glassman (who had them overnight), and to take the boys to see Cableman for the day. BigR also had a birthday party in Ladysmith so it was a lot of traveling around for her. Meanwhile - I worked.

On Sunday, the girls went for a picnic and to Fuller Lake on their way back into Duncan - and absolutely loved it. The boys played nicely and happily with their cars all morning. Craftymama was sanding furniture, but then all of a sudden switched gears and decided she was going to paint the living room trim. Off to Home Depot she went to pick up paint and what not, while I started to declutter and remove things from shelves. Then, while the boys played, Craftymama and I sanded and washed all the trim in the living room for her to paint. That's what she did Sunday - on the hottest day of the year thus far, in the hottest room in the house.

On Monday, I went to work, and after picking up her sewing dolls for the week decided she was taking the kids up to her dad's trailer for Canada Day. I was so sad to be missing that, I love the trailer. They went swimming, and played on the beach, went for rides in the golf car (BigR crashed it into a parked car causing some injury) and ate a whole bunch of crap food that one only gets at the grandparent's house. On the drive back, all the kids fell asleep.

Today, Tuesday, is my first official day of classes - I start in 2 hours and 15minutes. I am so nervous it will be too overwhelming for me, and also so nervous it will be too easy. I need something right in the middle. Something that will keep me awake during class, but not make me so frustrated that I cry and throw my textbook up against the wall. I'm cautiously optimistic.

A trip to the river in the rain last week

BigR sent me a picture of his favourite smooth rock

T built a sandcastle

I love this picture of K. It sums up her attitude, and beauty all in one go. 

LittleR playing in the water.

This is a picture from the trailer this past weekend

Today and This week

Today marks day three of a very very busy week. Between all my work, and the starting of school, and birthdays and what not - I'll have very little (read: none) downtime. I am excited to start school today, and actually brought my school binder to work - I smiled like a dork as I was getting it ready. I love school supplies, and school supply shopping. I got to go to the bookstore last week and get my textbook (only one for the four courses I am taking - which was a surprise) and I smiled like a dork then too. I love textbook shopping!

It's going to be a lot of work. When this semester actually starts (next tuesday), I will be getting to work for 5:00a, working until my classes start at 10:00a, going to school until 3:00p and then coming back here to work until like 4:30-5:00p. That way I get close to a full day of work in so I don't lose too many hours. I have also been working Saturdays and coming in early previously to store up some banked hours to use while I am in school. I think I got this covered - it's just going to be a very busy and very tiring 8 weeks. I also feel I have something to prove. With my work paying for my schooling it's like I HAVE to do well, I have to prove to them that I am capable of this schooling, and worthy of it. When I was in university before I didn't really care about getting top of my class because all I wanted to do was pass. I did well, don't get my wrong, but trying my hardest was never in my radar. Now I feel I have to try my hardest, I want to be top of my class, I really want to do well. I want to prove to my boss that I can do this, I want to prove to myself that I can still go to school successfully after all these years of not going, and I want to show my kids that it's never to late to go after what you want, and to do well at it.

Today is Craftymama's and LittleR's birthday. Craftymama is 26 (she feels old) and LittleR is 4. I can't believe LittleR is four already. She still seems to small to me, and it feels like not too long ago I was giving birth to her. I can still relive those moments, some more vivid than others, and I can still feel that post birth rush that one gets. I still remember how primal I was when she was born, and how in love I was with this little creature who I was sure was a boy. I will write more on her and her birthday after her get together with family tonight - I hope to post pictures.

Drive By

• Craftymama is feeling Ziggy move all the time now, not just flops but actual kicks. I can't wait until it kicks me in the head. 
• We have our ultrasound this month to make sure all is going well, we still haven't determined if we are going to find out gender - but if we are, we need to get another ultrasound as this one is too early for them to tell us. 
• BigR may have the pox - so he isn't in school today, much to his chagrin. 
• I have started my Christmas knitting as I don't think I'll get much time to do it once Ziggy is here and I am in school. 
• My school start in 24 days - well, that's when orientation is, actual schooling doesn't start until July 3rd. 
• K is determined that she *will* have earrings for her birthday, this is all thanks to Craftymama's mama who sparked the idea in her pretty little red head - she now will not drop the topic. 
• My birthday was last week and it was probably my favourite one of them all - surrounded by love and family. I felt special but not focused on - it was wonderful. 
• My car is making weird sounds, the bathroom sink is broken, and the kitchen sink is leaking - I loathe being an adult sometimes. 
• LittleR's birthday is coming up (June 24th) and I still have no idea what to do for her. BigR's birthday is first (June 10th) but I know what we are doing for him. 
• With the table done and the playroom waiting for some aesthetic pieces, craftymama has turned her attention towards the living room (paint), the upstairs floor (paint) and the laundry room (I have no idea of her plans, they change depending on what she finds on pinterest).
• M is still going to a speech group and is doing really well, right now they are working on his S's, as in "snack" instead of "nack." He is actually speaking up in the group now and interacting with them, it's great to hear about his progress. 

School

So I got my registration and course information for my foundation courses for school. My foundation courses include:

Management and Strategy, Foundations of Marketing, Foundations of Economics, and Basics of Accounting and Quantitative Methods.

The first three I'm not really concerned about. I would love to learn some information around management, I have some experience in marketing, and economics...well..I won't lie I am a little concerned about that one. But I am really really concerned about the Accounting course. My brain doesn't think in numbers. It loves the social sciences, but has a hard time with numbers in the accounting sense. I am hoping it is indeed an intro course, and not one that has many math prerequisites. I mean, I did statistics and math and what not at Simon Fraser but that was going on 6-7 years ago, and I wasn't that proficient at it then.

Orientation is on June 24th - and that is when my tuition is due. I have to tell me boss the total, and then take the credit card for all the textbooks I'm going to need. Classes start on July2nd. I take two courses for a month, and then the second two courses for a month. It will be intense! But I'm looking forward to the workload - assuming it's understandable and that I am not completely lost.

Building, School, Work

I haven't forgotten to do a spotlight on K, I just don't have any K pictures that accurately display her personality. We have made some more progress in the bedroom. The dresser has been painted, and brand new purple flower knobs have been added. Baseboard and quarter-round has been added around the room, and of course, you can also see the painted floor in these pictures.

Dresser in alcove with window. 

Painted floor and baseboards. 

purple flower knobs

We need to add crown molding and figure out how to get our stuff to hang up in the closet. We don't have a rod in there, and have put the bigger dresser in there for our clothing. This smaller dresser holds some clothing as well, but there are two of us and we have a lot of clothes. I also need to get a picture of the artwork Craftymama hung on the wall near our bed, it is full of sentiments of love and partnership. It's a wonderful creation.

I start school June 24th, well that's orientation. I am so excited and so nervous. Getting my masters degree is a big deal. I am proud of myself for being eligible to attend and to go, but worried I won't actually be able to do the course work both because its hard and because of everything else that is going on. I am going to have to take 8weeks off of work to do the foundation courses before the actual Masters starts in September. I'm nervous about leaving work for that long as well.

We are going to be going to Toronto again, hopefully, to the Treating Yourself Expo. And this year we are intending to have a booth to sell our products - especially our hemp stem teas and chocolates. We are expanding our business and getting great investments so shows like these are important for exposure. While I am going Craftymama and Glassman man will be building a farmhouse table, though I don't think that one exactly. I can't handle the chaos building that will bring so they decided to do it while I am on the other side of the country for a weekend.

Other projects include painting the living room, the stairs, and doing the playroom, all by the end of summer. It's a tall order, but since when do we do anything easily?

Holy Shit

Do you know what this is?
This is akin to an acceptance letter from VIU saying I got into school. Holy Shit!
Now to see if all the stars align and I can actually go.

The Start of Spring Break

Spring Break has officially started! We are a week behind public schools, and get two weeks off. We have no grand plans. Just some appointments, some seeing of family, and lots of time outside while the weather is beautiful. Craftymama has no idea what she is going to do to keep the kids entertained during the day - but she says that before every break from school, and then dreads when they go back. I have no doubt she will find something to do, and they all will have a great time! Sometimes, the quieter breaks with not lots of travelling are better. Our kids are so busy every weekend going back and forth from Nanaimo and then school during the week, that they will probably benefit from some quiet time as well. 

The boys are taking swimming lessons. T started out screaming at the sight of the water but now blows bubbles and puts his head in. R jumps into the water no problem and is thriving. Such a great opportunity for them! 

LittleR at the park with Glassman's hat - I forgot to pack hers. Actually she forgot to grab it from the van when she left, but I didn't double check. I lose some mom points. 

K's new favourite apparatus at the park. She loves sliding down these things, and trying to climb back up them. 

All 4 kids piled into the golf cart at Andrea's dad's trailer. We spent their first Sunday out there with them and had a nice hot dog and marshmellow roast. Our kids DO NOT like marshmallows. They clearly can not be related to Craftymama and myself.

I still haven't heard back about school. I know I made it through the first application process - that is I am qualified enough for the program. The second step is being approved by the faculty - that is what I am waiting for. Hopefully I'll know in 2-3 weeks. Eeeek!

My company, well not mine, but it is looking like we are going to be getting some huge investments from people in the USA. This would mean expansion into their market and the EU. This is great big news. I have been with the company since the beginning and to watch it grow like this is incredible. We are fine tuning our products to focus on Herbal Teas and Chocolates. Our brand name is Salvation Botanicals - so if you ever see us on your store shelves, be sure to give us a try - for me :)

Ch Ch Ch Changes

There are big changes coming to our family, and I am so excited and in shock about all of them!

However, I have been given the opportunity to go to school again by my job - and that's what I want to talk about today!

I currently work as a Bookkeeper and General Manager of my company, and to hone my skills and increase my value in the company they have offered to send me to University again to get my Masters Degree in Business Administration. That's right an MBA!

I am so in shock and grateful for this opportunity. Doing the program part time will allow me to continue to work to support our family. The only downside is I need foundation courses, which start this summer, and those are an 8-week intensive program. I am unsure what this means, but I doubt it means I will be able to work much, so I need to figure out how I am getting by during those 8 weeks of schooling.

I am so stoked at this opportunity to go back to school. Watching Craftymama and Glassman take courses online has refueled the desire in me to do some learning, I just never knew what I could do or what would be of value to me. An MBA is certainly of value - for a long time to come.

This news also comes bitterly. I really want to be a Waldorf teacher and work in that environment, and taking my MBA will mean signing a contract to stay here for as long as it takes me to finish school. Which means no Waldorf Education until after that time. It also means that Craftymama's school plans will be on hold as our house isn't ready for both parents to be taking advanced education at the same time. Getting my MBA though will mean more money for us, for her to eventually go to school, and for me to pay for waldorf training when I have the time. In the long run this could get me to a point where I am able to live my dream - even if I am 40 when it happens. Who says life stops at 40? (well, I do, because I am approaching 30 and that is just downright scary to me).

So there's some exciting news. I may be going to school again! The actual MBA program starts in the fall, that's not too long away at all. Now all I need to do is to be accepted into the program...man I hope I am.

LittleR

LittleR started school yesterday. We were a little nervous as she doesn't really like talking to new people. I took the morning off work so I could go with her, just like I did for all the other kids. We found her slippers and her chair and she got settled into colouring in her book with some tea right away. Yes, they serve tea to the kids - its decaf herbal tea, sometimes just warm apple cider. No screaming or uncertainty on her part. Craftymama and I watched through a little window outside for a couple of minutes and she seemed completely fine. When craftymama went to pick her up she was crawling around the dirt with a friend, and exclaimed that they made a boat, and had porridge, and she talked to people! She had a great time. I am so glad.

This means all the kids are in school now. R and K go from 8:15a-1:30p 5 days a week, M goes from 8:30a-12:30p 3 days a week, and LittleR goes from 8:30a-12:30p 2 days a week. Yes, that means craftymama has an hour to kill between pick up of a little kid and pick up of a big kid. I feel bad for her. It must be hard to entertain them for an hour every day.

Craftymama went and started the renos on the hole today. The hole is a room in the back off the kitchen. It was a mishmash of cupboards and a random counter top that made no sense. For some reasons, that being LittleR losing her gloves, she decided it was time to turn it into a mudroom so there was more organization for the kids' stuff. The cupboards and shelves came down, the stuff in them was put elsewhere (some sitting on a desk waiting for the playroom), and the random countertop had already been removed. She just can't wait to destroy things. She must have a weekday project and a separate weekend project on the go at all times.

Things with glassman are becoming more normal. The kids call him nearly every night and they see him as regularly as possible. K is still having trouble adjusting at bedtime and as a result the house isn't sleeping as soundly as it once did. She is up quite frequently. I still miss him, but I don't get as viscerally sad when he leaves.

:)

Renoing our lives

The boys' room has had its floor removed and half painted! Yay, we really need to find some matching beds for them now. We are looking for some vintagy ones we can paint to match their room kind of like we did with K's.

Also, Craftymama built a bench (with power tools cause she's a Boss with them now), in the airlock chamber (what we call the front room). It looks great. It's set back in what used to be a closet and there is this cool beaming on the walls behind (I'm sure there is a word for it, but heck if I know what it is). Our house really is making progress.

But in all this progress there is a lot of mess. Our garage is full of construction debris. Got Junk is coming on Thursday to give us a quote and if it's a good one we will be dealing with it right then. I'm hopeful the quote isn't too high.

Kids started school today, or two of them did. K starts tomorrow. It's crazy not to be involved and not to be there. It still makes me upset and feel like a bad mom for not being there with all of them to guide them through this process. I still hate not being at home, and miss it terribly. I don't hate my work (though I heartily dislike it at times), I would much prefer to be at home. I can't help but thing though that there is no way I could do it like Craftymama does. She is amazing. She manages to work, go to school, and take wonderful care of our kids and herself. I am envious of her. But I also know she is envious of me for other reasons.

Craftymama and I have the most exciting news to share - but we can't yet.

Blerp

M LEARNED TO RIDE HIS BIKE!!! Well mostly, he still can't figure out how to start peddling so still needs help with that.

School starts in two weeks. I am stoked. Stoked for them, and stocked for Craftymama. She made it through the summer, and I think it was memorable for her and the kids. I know it was for me.

Speaking of school...M,M,M. He still isn't fully potty trained and that's a requirement for him to start. What if he doesn't get there? We have to take him out of school this semester and hopefully start him in January. I'll feel so disappointed in myself for not being able to help him with this, even though it seems he doesn't really care either way. That's kind of been M though, he really doesn't care to help himself.

We started the boys' room this past weekend. We took down the ceiling tiles, scraped and painted the boards underneath, pick up the carpet, and demolished a closet. It was quite destructive and left us with a lot of debris. We really need to cal 1-800 got junk or something - the garage is getting full of all these materials we have ripped out. We have taken out a lot since the very first day we were here when we took off the lino on the stairs!

I'm getting more responsibility at work now, and was offered a big opportunity today. I can't say what it is, but it doesn't come without risk. However, it does come with a big payoff should all things go well. Work, lately, has been very over whelming and yet a little bit boring. I think I'm going through my 6month phase where I hate my job, or dislike it, or want to leave it every 6months or so.

Craftymama and I are doing well these days. We have both been incredibly supportive and understanding in a lot of matters and I am extremely in love with her. I've realized this week how stunning and wonderful she has been, and sometimes just can't help but stare at her. She is so amazing, and I am so lucky.