Failure

So we are moving - this Saturday as a matter of fact. We met with a bankruptcy trustee, a realtor, and have been talking lots about what to do. What it comes down to is the fact that the house is eating us alive, even if I was working full time with a decent hourly wage - it's still not enough to cover the basic necessities of living there. We simply can't afford it. So we had a realtor out to do a walk through and give us an estimate, and after his fees and taxes we would still owe over $100,000 on the house, and the banks won't let us walk away with that high of a debt still owing on it. So really, what other option do we have other than to foreclose on the house, declare bankruptcy, and start again. I will admit that I feel pretty much like the ultimate failure at life here. it was my job to support the family, and not only did I lose my job back in February, but even if I was working, I still didn't make enough for us to survive there. Buying that house was the single biggest adult mistake we have made.

So we will have some credit ladder climbing to do. This will kill our credit (and our cosigners, who knows about this, and who is being so amazingly awesome that it nearly brings me to tears), and we will be fighting to get it back, and regain some sense of normalcy again. This is a chance to start over, start fresh, and get it right. We can come back from this.

The place we are moving into is a 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom place on a huge piece of land. It needs some serious cleaning and fixing up, but we are okay with that. It's the same distance from the school, just in the other direction.

Speaking of school, R will be homeschooled next year, and we are going to see how grade 1 is for K. If it's awful we are going to pull all the kids out the following year. We don't want to keep trying and experimenting on the kids to see if it's going to work. That being said, I don't know that I am sold on homeschooling them all, but thankfully, we don't have to make that decision right now. That's a future problem - potentially.

Glassman has been coming out to our house more, and is helping us move and lay down new floor in the place and what not. It's weirdly comfortable having him around, and having three adults there is certainly nice. I do miss living with him, he was a permanent fixture in my life for so long that it's still weird that I don't see him every day.

Veganism goes all right. In fact, it's completely fine at home - it's when we see family. Others seem to think it is all right to undermine our food decisions, and critique them in front of the kids. What they don't realize is the kids complain about the food around them because they get a reaction. None of them actually really mind - especially K. They are enjoying trying new foods and new things. It's only when you point out what they are "missing out on" that they put of this fuss, and you can tell it's an act. It would just be really nice not to be belittled in front of the kids for our parenting choices. If you have a real issue with something we have decided to do, I would much rather be approached or called when the kids aren't around.

I am on the job hunt, and am finding that I am angry and upset at what  happened with my last job. I'm having a really hard time letting it go and I know I have to.

Those are the biggest updates that I can think of...