It's been forever!

Yes, it's been forever since I updated this blog. And I am sure no one is reading. But what I am sure of is that in however many years I will look back on these little tidbits of my life and smile, cry, and do all those things crazy mothers do when they look back into their pasts.

So we've moved. Do I like the new place? IDK. I like not being stressed that it's falling apart, like the last house, but it certainly does not feel like home. Not even in the slightest. The layout is weird, the landlord is weird, and, well, it's just not comfortable. Maybe it will be one day. Who knows how long we will be here, in the middle of no where, with no street lights in sight.

It's also time to be an adult and deal with the old house. We have someone who may be interested in doing a mortgage takeover; which would be handy. But there are so many things that need to be done, and deadlines from people that need to be met. When I think about the old house, and everything it has cost us: financially, emotionally, mentally - I wonder why any one ever buys houses in the first place. I don't want to ever do it again. I don't want to risk feeling the way I do now ever again.

Living with glassman has been an easy transition. I mean, I knew it would be. I've known the man for 24 years now, so it feels weird NOT living with him.

The Kids...

BigR started homeschooling today. He was excited about it over the summer, but seeing his friends at school (while dropping off the other kids) has made him have all the feelings an 8 year old can muster about this kind of situation. I think he will like the alone time with craftymama though, he has always thrived with one on one time, especially with her - a mama's boy at heart. He is really into pirates, and sword fighting. He and glassman often go outside in the evenings after the other kids are in bed and sword fight with glassman's martial arts sticks. They are really bonding - which is wonderful to see. He is a pretty moody 8 year old, which is normal I hear. He has found his voice, and uses it to talk back or argue - which is weird for me, because he has always been the soft spoken gentle one. He is still very precise and likes things a particular way, so I know now to touch his things - ever. His smile is infectious, and his eyes betray a wisdom far beyond his eight years. He can spend hours creating or listening to stories, and still holds childhood magic in his heart.

K is as social as social can be. She loves people. Let me elaborate...she loves adults. She would spend all of her time sitting with and listening into the conversations of any adult. She has no problems talking to them, no shyness, and no problems asking them embarrassing or personal questions. Her confidence in that regard is astounding. She has started grade 1 and loves it. She tells all of us, every day, about every little thing she has done that day - even going so far as to act out the actions of the story she heard, or display for us the movements she did in the gym. It can get exhausting to listen to, but I know she is just very excited and wants us to share in that excitement with her. She longs to know all the things that BigR already has learned, and loves nothing more than to mother J. She is already planning her wedding. She turns 7 this Wednesday. That's insane to me - that I've been doing this mothering thing for seven years already. She loves to help out around the house, including all chores. I have to be careful not to abuse that.

M  has grown so much over the summer - it's crazy! His coordination is leaps and bounds ahead of where it was before. He still expresses all his negative feelings in the form of anger, which can get exhausting, and demands physical exertion to keep him happy. He is a rough and tumble boy. He is still noise with dirt on it. But man oh man, can he be the sweetest thing in the world. Not too long ago he started to say "I love you" back to me when I would say it to him (so long as no one was around to hear it that is), and I tell you my heart damn near broke the first few times he said it. M doesn't let love or affection come out often, but when it does, I just melt. He is definitely going through the 6 year change. He has been saying things like, "it's not your life, it's mine" and "it can't help, it's just a blanket" (in reference to his blankie which has been a cherished, obsessed over object since birth for him). His dimples just seem to get deeper the older he gets, and I hope he never loses them. They can convey both trouble and joy. His anger can make him a challenge to parent at times, but at the end of the day when he snuggles up with his blankie, plants a big kiss on your cheek while giving you a squeeze hug - well, it just makes all the rage that day worthwhile.

LittleR is still weird and crazy and off. Whenever she sees a chicken she calls it a dinosaur. She, like most 5 year olds, goes immediately to cranky when things don't go her way. She has weird quirks - like her complete dislike of all muffins and raisins. She is still very much a mii mii's girl, and would stay on my lap all day if I would let her. She has a couple of best friends in school, who she absolutely adores, and which I think is so so cute. I often find myself wondering if this will turn into a friendship that lasts years and years; but I guess that depends on how long we are staying at the school. She is loud, and intense, and can stomp around the house like no body's business. There are times when I can't handle her screaming, and times when I have an endless amount of patience for her. She still screams, all the time, about everything. It's getting old. She always seems to be watching me though, and if I have even the tiniest bit of a cranky look on my face, she points it out and asks why. I have to be careful around her.

J. Little baby J. He is nearly 10 months old, and is cruising around furniture, getting into everything he can get into. The boy loves him some bananas, and green vegetables, and he is starting to get a taste for starchy and bready things. He is also a mama's boy, but I think that's normal for this age. He still sleeps in the bed with us, pressed up against craftymama or at least facing her. He hates to getting wrapped, but loves being up in a wrap. I really want to wrap him more. I keep saying and thinking that but I actually need to do something about that feeling. He has absolutely no fear of the water, which I love. He loves to get wet. A lot of people say he looks like Teo. He is obsessed with cars, and has been for months, which I think is quite young to have such a defined preference for toys - but here we are. He has been a wonderful addition to our family.

So yeah, that's pretty much us. I am going to try to post more often. I'll regret it if I don't.