The Art of Time Management

Never before have I realized both how long and how short days are.

With 4 kids sometimes the days take forever to go by. There are at least 27 meals/snacks to make in a day for everyone, that many dishes to do, clutter to clean up, 8 loads of laundry every other day, and personal hygeiene of course. Its a lot more of the every day mundane stuff, and it takes a lot of time. But, really, that's not what this entry is about.

There are four relationships present in our home. Me and Craftymama, Me and Glassman, Glassman and Craftymama, and the three of us together. That's four relationships that need nurturing, commitment, and most of all time to develop.

Glassman and I have had years together, but, our relationship is brand new now. We are more honest and open with eachother and we are learning that we have changed as people and so need to get to know one another. Craftymama and I have an awesome friendship as we were best friends for 1.5years before we got together. But we are learning how to be partners. Glassman and Craftymama are brand new - so to speak. They began a relationship 6 months ago, they lived together really quickly, and they had no prior relationship. The same goes for the three of us together.

What we are all lacking is time with one another.

Craftymama and I are together during the day, everyday - but its a different kind of time. It isnt quality time, its parent time - which is still awesome, and I dont take it for granted - but, I still want non parent time with her.

Glassman has said in the past that he is jealous of this time I get with her, even if its with the kids - so, much to my own detriment at times, I attempt to give them time to themselves whether the kids are there or not; the point is I'm not there. This gives them to develop a relationship both as parents and as adults. He has told me that he is no longer jealous in the same way, but that it still bothers him. They both have said I needn't go out of my way to ensure they get time, but if I don't, and no one is completely comfortable asking for it - how will they get it? I think its each of our responsibilities to help the other relationships along until we are all more able to ask for what we need/want without fear. I give them time alone, because they need it - more often then they get it - for me, it's as simple as that.

I've been thinking lately it might be a good idea for one night a week, for a couple of hours, for one person to go out, leaving the other two at home to do something together. Or every other week have two people go out together. But where would the person go? You can't just expect them to drive around or walk aimlessly. We all need a hobby or something we can do to 'distract' ourselves or occupy our time.

I think I would feel more secure in our relationships if I felt each relationship was getting equal respect - which I dont think, in the logical sense, they are right now.