Moving

We found a house. It's a 100 yr old farm house on 115 acres. We are not responsible for the land as there is another house on the property and in exchange for rent he takes care of the land and animals. Yes, there are animals. Llamas and rams right now I believe, though he did say that goats and chickens would be fine. Its a gorgeous house, very unique.

I have never in my however many years I have been working had so many issues finding a job - any job. I'll take anything at this point. I was stupid for turning down that job as a busser. I should have just sucked it up and taken in. I apply, I hear back, I think the interview goes great, and then I'm told that I didn't get it. I don't know. It's frustrating. I  need a job. I need a job badly. I wish I was skilled or trained in something, but I'm not. I'm not really trained in anything, I've just had a series of interested jobs that have taught my valuable skills, but those skills are nothing compared to other applicants who have direct experience in a given field.

Schooling or lack thereof continues to be on the table. We love the early childhood program at the waldorf school - but are unsure if the grades program is for us. I'm not sure if homeschooling, or it would be more waldorf inspired unschooling, is for us because I am not sure we provide an enriching enough environment. I'm so skeptical and critical. It would save us some money if they didn't go to the school, but I'm just not sold on the idea of keeping them home. It would be nice to be able to put them in activities outside of school; like scouts, toastmasters or gymnastics. It would be wonderful to not have the mornings be so hectic and chaotic and to be able to go more at our own pace, or craftymama's pace I guess as my plan is to be working full time.

Everything feels so up in the air. Everything is in question. I'm searching for some solid ground and not finding any. I  hear it will come eventually, and nothing worth having comes without work.