Parenting Moments

We all have those moments. Those moments where we look  back at something we have said or done as a parent and wish we hadn't. They needn't be big, sometimes even the smallest of things can have the most profound effect on us and our kids.

I was driving into work this morning and suddenly it hit me, my parenting moment, one of them anyways. I have this pet peeve, I hate when the kids play with my shoes. I hate when they put them on, and I hate when they walk around the house in them. This is because we don't allow shoes in the house, for a variety of reasons, and because their little feet, when they are walking, have a tendency to start breaking my shoes - and I need those things. I immediately go to frustration, and tell them to take my shoes off and return them to the front room.

Why is this a big deal you ask?

Kids are kids. Kids try on their parent's shoes. When they do, in those moments, they are pretending they are the adult. They are having pure, innocent, fun with simply a pair of my shoes. Instead of embracing that, I go to frustration and try to end it as quickly as possible.

What's the big deal if they try on and wear my shoes? Maybe instead of telling them to put them back right away, I could show them how to wear them properly so they don't break. Maybe I could play with them, and try to put their shoes on. Maybe we could make it a dress up game where they wear some of my clothes too. I have so many other options, but I take the one that is most convenient to my frustrated mood.

This is not the way I wanted to parent.

In trying to constrain the kids, control them, I fear that we have gotten ourselves into a situation where we could stifle their creativity. I want them to feel free, in their own home and anywhere, that they can express themselves, and let their imaginations run wild. Imagination is also a fleeting thing, they won't have this childlike imagination their whole lives. I should be embracing it, instead of giving in to my annoyances.

It really isn't a big deal that they put on my shoes....