Happy Happy

I went to see my psychiatrist today, and having had such good results with the ECT already we decided on a tapering off and maintenance schedule. I will taper off down to once a month, and then go once a month until September, then we will see if the meds hold me. This excites me, and scares me. ECT is working, and I don't want to mess with that, but I don't want to fry my brain either. I have forgotten things, but thankfully Craftymama has been there to help me. I don't know what I would do without her. I have never had someone who gets me like she does in every sense of the word. I'm gonna hold on to her :)

We need to figure the mortgage stuff out, as well as figure out whether or not I am able to go to school to do my waldorf teacher training. It's not that I want to go back to work, I could very easily get used to not working and getting to be with everyone all the time, it's that I should go back to work. I am not trained or skilled in anything anymore. I could go back to my old job, but I don't honestly think they want me back. My degree, now 7 years old, is essentially useless, so I need to do something else. Being a teacher has always called to me in some way, and I would love the opportunity to teach in a Waldorf environment, it's suited to me I think.

Craftymama is busy planting a whole array of garden stuff, much to my chagrin. I mean, I want to grow our own stuff, and we have signed up for a local CSA, but I don't want to get anything established in the house we are at, because I don't want to be there for much longer. I want to find a way to get out of the house, into a place we love. The idea of communal living with another family really appeals to me, and there is a family I would definitely do that with, but how to approach that with them. That's where I see my family - living communally with this other family (who I won't name yet), and growing a lot of our own stuff. I'd teach, the male of that family runs a carpentry thing I think, and that's how we'd get by. I have visions, I have dreams, and the better and happier I feel the more I really want to make them a reality. It can happen. I know it can.