Negativity

"I just don't deal with the negativity. I can't get involved in that side of it. I don't understand it, and you can't let it take away from your life and what you are trying to do"

I want to start living like this.

I have realized in the last little while that I have surrounded myself with some very negative, yet very involved and personal, people. These people take it upon themselves to bring me down with their own values and opinions. Sometimes an apology can't make up for the words you have said to another human being. People don't deserve some of the nasty words that have been said about them, about me.

My life is in a transition time right now, we are venturing into new territory in our home and with that transition comes fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of making the wrong choices. It is to those people that I turn to for support, however, when they only come back with negative critiques the support goes out the window. I don't need everyone to agree with me, that would be a futile waste of my time. What I do need is the support and love of those I try to keep closest to me.

Perhaps it's time that I distance myself from the negativity, especially during this transitional time. Perhaps the relationships with them aren't worth the level of sadness I feel after speaking with them. I shouldn't walk away from an interaction with a loved one only to *always* feel bad about myself or my life.

I just don't understand the motives behind it. Why talk behind someone's back, why say cryptic things that you know will just upset someone else. There has to be some love and kindness in your negative words or they will never truly be heard. They will just serve to insult and hurt the very people you were, hopefully, trying to help in the first place.

I don't know how to distance myself, keep myself and my family safe from their hurtful words and thoughts. It's hard to leave a relationship, any relationship. It's hard to venture out on your own and become your own person without the support of those you love, even if they were the ones hurting you. I feel like it is draining and wearing on me heavily, and I don't think I can deal with it for much longer.